On July 4th, while everyone else is celebrating with picnics, a day off work and a trip to see fireworks, jumping in the pool and hosting parties - the parents of serving military members have a different perspective. The families of service members, whether they are deployed, stateside or Guard members who are home and at the party - remember that we are celebrating a day that we Declared ourselves free. But that freedom had a cost then, and has a cost now. Our Family member(s) are the ones paying that price. They put their hands up and swore to

support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.

OR

having been appointed an officer in the Army of the United States, as indicated above in the grade of _____ do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign or domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservations or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office upon which I am about to enter; So help me God.”

So today, we thank them. And from the authors of Parents Zone, we thank YOU - the Moms, Dads, Wives and Children, Aunts and Uncles, Grandparents and Cousins - the ones whose eye is drawn to that man or woman in uniform, with a smile and feeling of “yeah, that’s one of us” - the ones who send the care packages, write the letters, take care of the home they will come back to - the ones who send up a prayer for their soldier, the marine or airman, the sailor - and the men and women they are serving with - the ones with the blue star in the window.

LAW

Parents of Marines - this is amazing!  SemperFi Wife - a Marine Mom and Wife- alerted me to this article.    Shows what a bunch of committed and supportive parents can do.

Parent Network expands; Marines’ welfare a worthwhile endeavor 

6/25/2008  By Lance Cpl. Joshua Murray, Regimental Combat Team 5 

AL QA’IM, Iraq — 

AL QA’IM, Iraq — Task Force 2nd Battalion, 2nd Marines, Regimental Combat Team 5 recently introduced a new way for Marines’ parents to learn about what’s happening with their sons during the latter’s deployment to western Al Anbar province, Iraq. The Parent Network started shortly before the battalion, nicknamed “Warlord,” left for Iraq and continues to grow.

“We have around 1,000 parents involved in this program, and it’s still growing,” said Sgt. Maj. Howard K. Long, 43, the battalion sergeant major, who presented the idea of establishing the Parent Network. “The Marines can elect up to five people who can receive information from us.”

Mrs. Diane Hanley, the mother of Pfc. Shane Hanley, a rifleman with Company E, is the Parent Network coordinator. She corresponds with the Family Readiness Team of the battalion to address any parental concerns and answer questions to the best of her abilities.

“The network is a way to inform and educate parents of the Warlord’s service in Iraq, so they can better support their sons through an understanding of the military,” said Navy Lt. Joel Degraeve, 40, the battalion chaplain. “If Mrs. Hanley receives a question, she forwards it to us. Some have been concerns, but parents mostly want to know how they can support us.”

As the Parent Network grows, so do the number of inquiries about the battalion. Hanley eventually receives most questions from parents, but the network has grown so large that six individuals across the nation have taken intermediary roles between Hanley and the parents.

“We have parents all across the United States divided into six regions,” said Long, who is from Asheville, N.C. “Each region has its own regional coordinator they can contact for help.”

On their own accord, the parents began coordinating with one another to send battalion-care packages. They have sent boxes upon boxes of useful items to distribute to all of the Marines with the battalion. The chaplain, while visiting Marines for religious services, plans to pass out boxes at every stop.

“Sending battalion-care packages is not something they originally planned to do,” said Degraeve, who is from Chicago. “Every Marine in the battalion will be taken care of in a way because of them. In the short time they have been together, they have shown their commitment to the Warlords.”

Information on becoming a member of the Parent Network and supporting the Marines during their deployment is available on the battalion’s Web site, www.iimefpublic.usmc.mil/public/iimefpublic.nsf/unitsites/2bn2mar/.

As the group continues to grow, more and more parents all over the United States are learning about their son’s deployment and banding together to take care of the Warlords any way they can.

http://http://www.marines.mil/units/marforpac/imef/1stmardiv/5thregiment/rct5/Pages/ParentNetworkexpands;Marines%E2%80%99welfareaworthwhileendeavor.aspx

As a parent, when your child joins the military you go through a wide range of emotions; ranging from extreme pride to high anxiety. The first time you see your child after basic training/boot camp, you expect to see someone tempered by the heat of training (After all, you’ve seen the movies and watched the discovery channel. Even if you haven’t served yourself, you’re aware that military training is “somewhat” difficult.) What you may not expect is to hear your child speaking a different language!

Parents - which piece of slang confused you the first time you heard it? any good stories about that? please share with us!

Remember the military is a profession of arms, and like any profession it has its own, unique, vocabulary. Some of the vocabulary is based on tradition, some of the vocabulary just “is.” One thing is certain, though, if you’ve never been associated with things military, you’ll need a translator to fully understand your child’s conversation. Just like when they were teenagers, or the first time you read a text message.

A lot of “military-ese” consists of acronyms. For some reason, the military wants to shorten just about everything it can into its smallest component part. Don’t ask me why. Perhaps it is a left over from the days when long-distance communications happened with flags or dots & dashes. But for whatever reason, acronyms seem to be a part of military culture that’s here to stay. Here are a few that are often used:

PCS: permanent change of station; a move from one base or garrison to another.

TDY/TAD: temporary duty; a short-term assignment away from a permanent base

AOR/AO: area of responsibility.

OPSEC: operational security

CO: commanding officer.

NCO: non-commissioned officer.

SOP: standard operating procedure.

AAR: after action report.

POC: person in charge

BAH: basic allowance for housing; money given to married members and those with permission to live off-base to defray housing costs.

CONUS: continental United States; within the 48 contiguous states

OCONUS: outside the continental United States; outside the 48 contiguous states

POV: private (or personal) automobile

GOV: government-owned automobile

PX/BX: post (or base) exchange

ROE: rules of engagement

MRE: meals ready to eat

MOS: military operational specialty; what job you do

FUBAR: fouled up (or other appropriate words) beyond all recognition.

SNAFU: situation normal, all fouled (or other appropriate words) up

Sometimes the military also uses a phonetic alphabet when needed to communicate letters clearly, for example when giving map coordinates over the radio. The phonetic alphabet goes “alpha, bravo, charlie, delta . . . .” These phonetic alphabet letters are also sometimes used in acronyms to convey certain meanings, such as:

“Tango Uniform:” torn up or broken

“Sierra Hotel” shoot (or other appropriate word) hot

“Charlie Sierra” chicken stuff (or other appropriate word for excrement)

“Mikes” minutes

Finally, some “military-ese” consists of slang; much of it service-specific. Here’s a few general slang terms:

Butter bar: a second lieutenant

Slick sleeve: in the Air Force, an airman basic; in the Army, a soldier without a combat patch

Shirt, or First Shirt: in the Air Force, the unit’s first sergeant

Old Man: in the Army, the company commander; in the Air Force the squadron commander

Birth Control Glasses: refers to horn-rim government-issued prescription glasses

Civvies: civilian clothing

Chow: food

Class-A uniform: dress uniform (jacket and a tie)

Fast-mover: a jet airplane

Ground-pounder: infantry

Jody: a cadence sung while a soldier marches or runs in formation; also a civilian who steals another’s “significant other” while the soldier is deployed

For More Jargon - the blog roll on the right has links to much much more!

365 days after I stood at Fort Benning and hugged my son and his buddies as they deployed to Iraq, I wrote about what it was like to live “here” while part of our heart was “there”. When our son deployed, we had been told to plan for an 18-month deployment, but if they were home in 15 months it would be a gift. They came home from that deployment in 12 months – which was a miracle in my book; my son’s unit just returned from another deployment – one that lasted 15 months.

I came to the conclusion back then that when you have someone deployed, you live in two worlds: “This” world and “That” world. I know those without someone in the military will empathize, but unless you have been through it, you can never fully appreciate how invasive this living between these worlds can be. If you are here getting yourself geared up for a child’s (or spouse’s) deployment, here’s what you can expect.

In This World, everything goes on as normal. You go to work (for those that work), do the laundry, clean the house, pay the bills…? You know — all the things “normal” people do.

But we’re not normal. We also live in That World — the world where the telephone ringing in the middle of the night is normal ’cause it’s morning over there. The world where news is everything and vague reports of improvised explosive devices can raise your heart rate 10 beats a minute and unconfirmed reports of soldiers’ deaths can cause you to inhale involuntarily. The world that can fall apart in an instant when the caller ID says it’s Fort XXX or there’s a knock at the door and the chaplain is standing there.

In This World, holidays are a day off or a reason to shop. In That World, holidays are markers of time passing… merely milestones until homecoming. First we got through Valentine’s Day,? then Easter (telling ourselves that they’ll be home next Easter), then Memorial Day (oh how we’ll celebrate next Memorial Day!), Independence Day (we’ll have the best barbecue next 4th!), Labor Day, Columbus Day…? just marking time in That World… the World where you live between goodbyes and hellos until it’s goodbyes again.

In This World, birthdays and anniversaries, the births of children, the marriages of friends and family are celebrated with a degree of sadness because your soldier is not here… your soldier is in harm’s way. Can you ever truly celebrate in This World when your heart is mostly in That World? We do but only because we are forced to live in This and That World.

We live in This World where the ringing phone is just a ringing phone — an annoyance, an interruption… but we are forced to also live in That World where we curse because the phone does not ring often enough or can bring unhappy news… where 21st century technology is a tether to That World but which we curse in blackout or busy times when we are plunged into unwanted silence.

In This World, shopping is a normal every day activity, but because we also live in That World, it is a lifeline to our soldier: shopping for the things they need… the things they like…? the things that tie them to home — to us…? tie them to This World… but where in That World — their World — soft toilet paper, cigarettes or their favorite salsa may be more priceless than gold.

In This World there are 24 hours in a day, but because we also live in That World, we live a parallel 24. As we progress through our days in This World, we are calculating the time in That World and conjuring up pictures of what our soldier is doing at that moment. When we eat we wonder what they ate today or if they had a hot meal at all...? when we shower we wonder if they had a hot water shower or whether it was a water bottle rinse off…? we wonder if they got our mail… and we wonder if there are others who got any mail at all.

In This World, “Where did the time go?” is a simple phrase. In That World, it is a blessing that the hour or day went quickly because in That World time passes excruciatingly slow –? especially those last few days until that plane touches down and the senior officer yells, “Dismissed!”

In This World, you are brave, tough, and supportive and you dare not admit to many that in That World you are also weary, frightened, worried sick and lonesome for your soldier and sometimes you cry about it for him and for you.

In This World, you smile politely when someone asks about the yellow ribbon pin or the purple “For Those Who Serve“ bracelet you wear… and you smile broadly when they ask you to thank your soldier for their service in That World.

In This World you wonder why people clap when some brainless actor or politician says hurtful things about the War or our military efforts while your soldier fights nobly in That World for their right to say it.

In This World you find that you talk back to the television a lot and that you stop watching or listening to most politicians and clueless celebrities who can’t seem to put aside their partisanship long enough to see the effect some of their mindless statements have on those that live in That World and are fighting a war.

In This World you wouldn’t dream of challenging someone demanding that we cut and run, but because we also live in That World, we have no qualms about telling them that they don’t know their butt from an indentation in the Earth’s surface and thoughtfully answer all their rote mumblings about oil, lies, wealth, WMD — and when they spout “We support the troops” — we don’t hesitate to ask them to prove it!

Before my son’s deployment, I thought that once our son — once Our Guys (my adopted sons in my son’s former unit) — were home, I would return to living in just one world — This World. However, now that these two most recent deployments are over, I realize that a part of me will always live between the two worlds. That World is now an integral part of This World for me… as it is for many others parents and spouses and aunts, uncles, sons and daughters.

In This World, your friends are those you know in your neighborhood and from the PTA or Lions Club meetings. For the families of those deployed, our friends in This World include everyone that understands all too well That World: friends who are serving, those who have served, the families of those who are deployed, have been deployed or are deploying and the people that really do support them… always ready with a helping hand, an encouraging word, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold in good times and bad. That World is a big world inhabited by a large family of which I am proud to be a member and for which I will forever be grateful.

Copyright Some Soldier’s Mom 2006 and 2008. All rights reserved.

I have had to pull a few comments out, and will replace them after some editing… Why you ask? It’s called OPSEC (another very very important military acronym) It stands for Operational Security. There is a link at the top of the page to let you know the rules we have here. OPSEC means NO names, NO locations (you can be vague - the Sand, the Litterbox, Far East, Europe, OCONUS, CONUS etc.) no sailing dates, no exact leave dates, etc. When we set up secure pages for units (a plan for the future!) we’ll let you know. Until then, to quote a great TV show, “let’s be careful out there”.

If you have any questions about what is or isn’t allowed, or anything you want to ask just one of us and not broadcast it, go to parentszone@gmail.com. One of us will try to get back to you as soon as we can.

LAW

From our new guest author - Lela   - who is a former Air Force Officer, married to an retired Air Force officer, and parent of serving AirForce daughter and a Marine son.

Did you ever go to one of those group courses where they made you do an exercise where you had to fall backwards and trust people in your group to catch you? I did, and I really had to work at it before I could let go and allow my friends to catch me as I fell. Trust isn’t something that comes easily to me. I have to work at it. Maybe it’s my profession; I am an attorney after all. (Just think of the liability!) Maybe it’s a generational-gender-thing; women of my age (growing up in the pre-Title IX era) didn’t get to play a lot of sports where you learn how to work as a team and “play in your lane.” Maybe it’s just me. Whatever it is, I have had to learn how to trust.

So why is trust something that I know that I wish all parents of service members knew? Because my military career helped me to understand the nature of trust, at least the type of trust that is necessary for an effective military. When our children join the military they learn, among other things, to trust their equipment, their leaders, and their comrades. At basic training, for example, Marines are subjected to tear gas, not to be cruel or to sensitize them to the effects of tear gas, but to teach them the proper use of a gas mask and to show them that the mask can be trusted to protect them from the effects of the gas. The Marines learn to trust through training. The same thing happens during an Air Force pilot’s training. A pilot repeatedly trains on emergency procedures so that when (or if) the “unthinkable” happens, the pilot can respond quickly and effectively, just like they’ve trained, over and over. A pilot learns to trust through training. When units or aircrew train together, they learn each other’s strengths and weaknesses. They learn to trust that their leaders understand the mission and that they will do their best to bring them home safely. They learn how each person in the unit will execute that mission. It’s all about learning trust through training.

As a parent, understanding just how hard the armed forces train and how that training builds military effectiveness, has helped me when my children were asked to do (or signed up to do) something dangerous. I knew that the Air Force would give my daughter the best flying training she could get before they would let her fly a jet or a helicopter. I knew they would continue to hone her skills until she was the best pilot she could be; and if that wasn’t up to extremely high standards, the Air Force wouldn’t let her fly. So, while she chose a “dangerous” career and one that does claim lives, I trust her training, just as she does. It’s a comfort. The same trust helped me through my Marine son’s recent deployment to Iraq. His training, as a combat infantryman gave him and his buddies the tools needed to survive the deployment. He trusted his buddies and his leaders. He trusted his training. So did I, because I know that if the armed forces aren’t fighting, they’re training.

Most of all, as parents, we need to learn how to trust our children and their decisions. They chose to serve, for whatever reason. This one was hard for me. I still have the knee-jerk, maternal reaction to do everything in my power to protect my children. But we can’t. We need to trust in their decision to serve. All we can do is fall backwards into the arms of friends and family ready to support us as we support our children. After all, we, too, can learn to trust . . . it’s all in the training.

What’s good to send, now that the temps in the Sand are in the 100s? Well, in a previous post comment, we got a lot of great ideas from “Some Soldier’s Mom” , which I am unashamedly going to “copy and paste ” here. I will also mention, PRIORITY mail only for food - otherwise some things will not survive.

I sent pizza! I got that Boboli pre-made pizza dough; pouches of tomato sauce; HARD PACK cheese (the kind that doesn’t have to be refrigerated!) and a small cheese grater… packaged peperoni (vacuum sealed that does not need refrigeration!) Also a microwave pizza dish…

or

“A Day at the Beach!”- sunscreen; beach towel; beach snacks; flip flop sandals (shower shoes); aloe vera gel;

or

“American Classics”- Pez with dispensers; Cracker Jacks; Lifesavers; NeccoWafers; Pop Rocks; Nerds; Good & Plenty; Candy Necklaces; Candy cigarettes

throw in some “windmills” (the hand held spinners) and red/white/blue tinsel!!

When we sent stuff over for a party - we kinda went nuts. Water Balloons (they did get used, believe it or not and reports were that folks BEGGED to be “got”), beads, plastic or fabric leis, candy of all sorts (individually wrapped - the bag of lemon drops I sent - One BIIIIG Lemon Ball!) , tins of snacks, good BBQ sauce and even rubs (my DH was the Pit King of their area) They can get the meat etc from KBR at some bases, if they request it. One friend went to Chipotle and described how much her husband missed their food - hey presto, they gave some of their seasonings, the meat was cooked and vacuum sealed and off it went!

When temps got into the “too hot to breathe” category, we also started sending cookies that didn’t melt. Some guys told us that the choc chip ones were fusing together and kinda nasty. So I came up with Chocolate snickerdoodles, which went over well with the chocoholics, and ginger snaps were requested by some as well.

OK - so lets have YOUR ideas! We’ll also set up a page to keep these all together - called — Care Packages! (original, huh?) We can put recipes there as well, for those treats that became hot favorites.

LAW

SemperFi Wife has a superb post on SpouseBuzz about the true meaning of Memorial Day. The link is below. For those like us, the parents, cousins, grandparents and spouses of military, it’s a Day that we honor, but the men and women who serve, are those that we remember every day. For the rest of the country, it’s a 3 day weekend at the beginning of summer. I always hope that they will think of those men and women serving, not just today but every day. But I suppose it’s a start for them to do so today.

What a wonderful response from all of you who commented on our intro! It was great to hear from you and we are so happy that you want to be a part of this page, and to talk about this experience that only a few in America are going through.

OK, now that we have “met”, I’m going to ask a favor! We need to know what YOU want us to talk about, research, find information about, what YOU want this page to be. If you want to write for the page, email at parentszone@gmail.com and we’ll talk.

For those who are about to go through a deployment, one of our writers is working on a post about her son’s deployment. For those going through graduation and weddings - Congratulations!

Oh – by the way, we’d like to invite all the dads, uncles etc to join us here too. This isn’t just a Mom’s page, it’s a Parents page (and we’d like to invite the rest of the family too).

So – here we go.