Coffins and media decision made

February 27, 2009 · Filed Under Military News, Military Parents, Parents News · Comment 
They Are Not Alone

They Are Not Alone

As you all probably know, the SecDef has made his decision concerning the media access to coffins of the fallen coming into Dover AFB. The decision is that media will be allowed if the family requests it.

No matter how you or I feel about this (and I’m not going to put my opinion out here), this is now the way it is. Now there is paperwork that will be required, I’m sure there will be a form, and procedures and requirements etc. A question that is definitely out there – WHO is the one who will make that decision. Should it be the wife? the parents? the children (my son is an adult, and would put his 2 cents in). One commentor I saw suggested it should be up to the service member, that this should be something they decide.

As we’ve discussed before (well, I did the talking, hope you did the reading!) most of us have planned funerals for our service member. That’s one of those things that military families do that boggle the minds of the civilians. This is part of that planning. As a spouse, would I want my husband’s family to have any say in this decision? good question. As a mom, would I stand back and let my daughter in law make that decision, if I didn’t agree with it? another good one.

Do YOU guys have any answers? and if you want to let us know how you feel about the decision, feel free. Don’t forget, be polite!

LAW

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How Mama Bear gets through the wall…

February 26, 2009 · Filed Under Deployment, One Army Mama Bear · 1 Comment 

join USO -  help other troops and their families as they travel … it’s a process so go ahead and get started  … you have to apply, interview, be accepted, get fingerprinted, have training, and then you’re ready to hit the USO. On a recent day, on the early shift there were twenty or so soldiers in the tiny USO sleeping when I arrived a little before 7:00 am … the recliners were full and a few were sleeping on the floor … all they want is a safe place where they can close their eyes. They came in all hours of the night … midnight, 4:00 am, and they poured in all morning. This shift is usually the one that is free to do cleaning … only the kitchen and the office area got cleaned on Tuesday… while the troops slept. Then we made sandwiches, coffee, bagels with cream cheese, bowls of cereal, even Ramen noodles, whatever they wanted that we had. We handed out soft drinks and snacks, cupcakes and pastry. These guys and gals are always hungry, but rarely do they ask for anything. WE have to ask them.

They’re coming from all over – going back to their bases – mainly Marine and Army, but also Navy, Air Force, National Guard.  They talked about their families and they talked about their upcoming deployments. They always seem surprised that we’re so happy to serve THEM and they respond with “Yes, M’am” or “Thank you, M’am” … always so polite … that sir or m’am. We greet them, feed them, make them comfortable and find them rides. Sometimes the base is sending a bus … most likely they have to find their own way there … the airport information desk will make announcements that there’s a soldier needing a ride to Fort Bragg or a Marine needing a ride to Lejune or Johnson. Some of them have rides coming and can take more guys. They like to eat, sleep, play video games, watch movies, get online, and sometimes talk. It’s all free …

I think of my son when I see these troops and am paying it forward for groups like Maine Troopers who greeted our guys and hosted them so well in Bangor, Maine when they were deploying. Thank you, Maine Troopers!  I’m very proud that the RDU USO has a strong committment to be open 24/7 for our traveling military. Lots of them – especially the younger guys need a place to sleep/rest between flights – lots of times that’s overnight – or MANY hours! We’re a meeting place for military families traveling  – connecting with wives/husbands/children - so they can travel together to their destination. USO is one way to  deal with ‘the wall’ … serving those who SERVE for us … there are more .

OneArmyMamaBear

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Seasons can’t change fast enough

February 23, 2009 · Filed Under Deployment, One Army Mama Bear · 2 Comments 

DESPERATELY!!! I want spring to come … winter to be over … because I want summer to come and my son to come home. BUT I’m also afraid for spring to come … that’s when the enemy comes over the mountains to renew their fight oppressing the poor of  their own country and attacking their defenders – our sons and daughters. The cowardly worms hide among civilians so that when they get hit, civilians get hurt, too. Spring is when the fighting kicks up a notch … and I’m afraid. I just want to jump OVER spring and go straight to summer … maybe go into hibernation like a bear … and wake up when it’s all over … in time to clean, cook and get ready to greet my son and his unit coming back from the other side of the ocean. But hibernating, hiding, sticking my head in the sand … that isn’t my style … I don’t do things that way … I don’t choose to go through life in an unconscious state (unless it’s surgery)… I charge out to meet it head on!!!

I attack everything with research … know my enemy … know my mission. For instance … Mission Pregnancy Max (he was baby #4) … I didn’t assume I knew it all … medicine changes it’s mind constantly … so-o-o all through my pregnancy with Max, I researched … decided on a different natural childbirth method (did Lamaze with #2 and #3) – decided on Bradley for Max’s birth – went to Bradley classes – ate healthy – did my pregnancy exercises – read and researched my all the way through this 4th pregnancy of mine … I wanted the best for Max – just like I wanted the best for each ONE of my four children. Max has always sung his own version of “My Way” (even before he was born). Max decided he preferred to be born feet first… airborne – all the way – jumping out feet first. Even then – no state of unconsciousness for me – I still wanted to BE there for Max’s birth and be AWAKE – didn’t want to miss anything – thanks to an epidural,  I was. So-o-o-o, how can I do deployment any other way? read, research, stay informed, and sometimes find out way too much … more than I needed to know … I just want this to be OVER! I want Max to be safe and come home – I want them all to be safe and come home. NOW!

I’ve warned my husband … deployment is bringing out a new side of me … a new me … a violent me??? maybe deploy the mamas and the papas with our sons and daughters … we’re plenty angry! I realize this resembles a tantrum … at 59 I’ve reverted to the behavior of a two year old. What is this???? someone please tell me !?!?

One Army Mama Bear
HOOAH!

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Hitting the Wall

February 19, 2009 · Filed Under Deployment, Military Parents, National Guard Parents · Comment 

You hit the wall… it’s just too much and it’s never going to end. The tension, the stress – it’s all too much right now… you just yelled at your sister, your best friend is fed up with listening to you, and your spouse has decided to take a long walk every night after dinner. You sit and obsessively watch the news and pace the floor, or you refuse to have a radio or TV on at all… What is this mess??? Welcome to the wall- the deployment wall. We all hit it – the days drag by and you really cannot figure out why you are so unhappy all the time, the calendar stubbornly refuses to turn over, the clock MUST have stopped…

Yes, the funk has hit. Now, you can, if you want, sit around in your ratty sweats or  bathrobe all day; drag yourself to work and make yourself the most unpopular person in the building when you snap the head off the poor receptionist; obsess over the lack of  email, or the missed phone call – OR- you can get off your butt and do something…

In my case – I did all of the above!  and when I was sitting in my nest of papers/books on the couch in front of the TV – I realized this was just not healthy.  That conclusion was bolstered when I got out of the sweats and tried on real clothes – hmmm. all that food, no exercise – bad news on the scale.  So – giving myself a really good metaphorical butt kicking, I got to doing!  A friend and I decided that we’d get a project moving – and what a doozy it was.  She got a printer friend to print up some Thanksgiving greeting cards that could be colored – and then we started calling and emailing local teachers at elementary schools.  We sent the blanks out and the kids colored, wrote letters etc.  over 3,000 cards!  when we got them back, they were mailed to the various chaplains attached to our unit and handed out at their Thanksgiving festivities.

We were told that the troops really loved them, gave them a good chuckle.  So – if you are in the Funk – St. Patrick’s day is coming up!  know a troop who could use a laugh?  know a local elementary school?  Well – there ya go!

Tell us how YOU got over hitting the wall —–

LAW

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