Comments on: Coffins, Photographs and the families rights http://parentszone.org/2009/02/12/coffins-photographs-and-the-families-rights/ Fri, 18 Dec 2009 14:02:22 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.4 By: Anonymous http://parentszone.org/2009/02/12/coffins-photographs-and-the-families-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-2601 Anonymous Fri, 17 Apr 2009 23:42:19 +0000 http://parentszone.org/?p=414#comment-2601 [...] may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!My friend LAW talked about this over at Parents Zone As you may have read, the Secretary of Defense is reviewing the policy of taking photographs of [...] [...] may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!My friend LAW talked about this over at Parents Zone As you may have read, the Secretary of Defense is reviewing the policy of taking photographs of [...]

]]> By: One Army Mama Bear http://parentszone.org/2009/02/12/coffins-photographs-and-the-families-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-1395 One Army Mama Bear Wed, 18 Feb 2009 11:50:51 +0000 http://parentszone.org/?p=414#comment-1395 This issue is a powerful and emotional one ... anytime, but especially during deployment. I agree with LAW ... Gates needs to allow US to make this choice. Thankfully, I have no experience meeting the flag covered coffin of one I love, but thousands have. I am a very private person and would not choose to invite media to a this moment. Military families know well the cost of the war. Ask us to share the stories of our soldiers... ask us to tell you about the men and women we love ... ask us to tell you why they made the decision to defend our country, but don't ask us to share 'the last goodbye'. THAT is TOO MUCH to ask. This issue is a powerful and emotional one … anytime, but especially during deployment. I agree with LAW … Gates needs to allow US to make this choice. Thankfully, I have no experience meeting the flag covered coffin of one I love, but thousands have. I am a very private person and would not choose to invite media to a this moment. Military families know well the cost of the war. Ask us to share the stories of our soldiers… ask us to tell you about the men and women we love … ask us to tell you why they made the decision to defend our country, but don’t ask us to share ‘the last goodbye’. THAT is TOO MUCH to ask.

]]> By: Public or Private: Just say no Secretary Gates | Army Household6 http://parentszone.org/2009/02/12/coffins-photographs-and-the-families-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-1353 Public or Private: Just say no Secretary Gates | Army Household6 Sun, 15 Feb 2009 03:10:29 +0000 http://parentszone.org/?p=414#comment-1353 [...] friend LAW talked about this over at Parents Zone As you may have read, the Secretary of Defense is reviewing the policy of taking photographs of [...] [...] friend LAW talked about this over at Parents Zone As you may have read, the Secretary of Defense is reviewing the policy of taking photographs of [...]

]]> By: Biermann http://parentszone.org/2009/02/12/coffins-photographs-and-the-families-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-1350 Biermann Sat, 14 Feb 2009 23:45:19 +0000 http://parentszone.org/?p=414#comment-1350 Thanks for the link SSM, once again you have proven to be a great source for us parents.! Thanks for the link SSM, once again you have proven to be a great source for us parents.!

]]> By: Some Soldier's Mom http://parentszone.org/2009/02/12/coffins-photographs-and-the-families-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-1344 Some Soldier's Mom Sat, 14 Feb 2009 17:07:43 +0000 http://parentszone.org/?p=414#comment-1344 I have come closer than I ever imagined to actually having to plan one son's funeral... Please have someone describe for me what lifting the ban on photographing the caskets will accomplish? Will publishing photos of the caskets bring relief and solace to the families of the dead? Will it advance the cause for which they died? Will it make the death(s) any more meaningful? Or will the release of such photos for any all purposes demean and belittle the sacrifice of the dead and their families? Some professor (in calling for a lift of the ban) said, "It's a right for all Americans to pay their respects for those who made the sacrifice. It is not a right held exclusively for the families themselves." it is a right that SHOULD be held exclusively for the families. If a family wants the media at their soldier's arrival, fine... but otherwise they should remain barred. we do not hide our heroes. we speak their names. we tell their stories. we celebrate their lives. we mourn their deaths. and any who wish to honor those who died may join us in those undertakings. but the photos of the caskets are so singularly subject to misuse and abuse -- to demean their deaths, to undermine the cause for which they willingly served, to serve purposes for which the dead have no say -- THAT is why the ban should remain. if it takes photos of flag-draped caskets to inspire someone to mourn our war dead, "respecting" the dead is not their intention. What, exactly, will lifting the ban accomplish? And who will it profit? Yes, I see. Maintain the ban. Here is the link to the form to submit your comment to Dod/Gates on this http://www.defenselink.mil/faq/questions.aspx I have come closer than I ever imagined to actually having to plan one son’s funeral…

Please have someone describe for me what lifting the ban on photographing the caskets will accomplish? Will publishing photos of the caskets bring relief and solace to the families of the dead? Will it advance the cause for which they died? Will it make the death(s) any more meaningful? Or will the release of such photos for any all purposes demean and belittle the sacrifice of the dead and their families?

Some professor (in calling for a lift of the ban) said, “It’s a right for all Americans to pay their respects for those who made the sacrifice. It is not a right held exclusively for the families themselves.”

it is a right that SHOULD be held exclusively for the families. If a family wants the media at their soldier’s arrival, fine… but otherwise they should remain barred. we do not hide our heroes. we speak their names. we tell their stories. we celebrate their lives. we mourn their deaths. and any who wish to honor those who died may join us in those undertakings. but the photos of the caskets are so singularly subject to misuse and abuse — to demean their deaths, to undermine the cause for which they willingly served, to serve purposes for which the dead have no say — THAT is why the ban should remain. if it takes photos of flag-draped caskets to inspire someone to mourn our war dead, “respecting” the dead is not their intention.

What, exactly, will lifting the ban accomplish? And who will it profit? Yes, I see. Maintain the ban.

Here is the link to the form to submit your comment to Dod/Gates on this
http://www.defenselink.mil/faq/questions.aspx

]]> By: Mamaw http://parentszone.org/2009/02/12/coffins-photographs-and-the-families-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-1337 Mamaw Sat, 14 Feb 2009 06:59:17 +0000 http://parentszone.org/?p=414#comment-1337 I have seen the pictures of families whose lives will never be the same and I have had dreams of what it would be like at my son's funeral. The very thought makes me cry just as the pictures did of the families at the airport retrieving their loved ones. My own view? The media was not there at his birth, why would they be there upon his death? I would rather it be private, family first, especially since he has small children. Yes, it does drive the point home, when we see the pictures of the tortured and grieving but at this point, no, I would rather not see my daughter-in-law pictured in a heap on the floor and I would not want my own private sorrow on the news. When I received a text message this past Veterans Day from my niece and it was caskets covered with American flags I was at work and I cried. It was sent with the intent that we not forget those who gave the ultimate sacrifice but it hit too close to home. We must keep our Troops at the forefront of the public but not at the cost of invading a private, horribly sad moment. In my opinion, it is up to the family as to what they choose to have made public or kept private. I have seen the pictures of families whose lives will never be the same and I have had dreams of what it would be like at my son’s funeral. The very thought makes me cry just as the pictures did of the families at the airport retrieving their loved ones. My own view? The media was not there at his birth, why would they be there upon his death? I would rather it be private, family first, especially since he has small children. Yes, it does drive the point home, when we see the pictures of the tortured and grieving but at this point, no, I would rather not see my daughter-in-law pictured in a heap on the floor and I would not want my own private sorrow on the news. When I received a text message this past Veterans Day from my niece and it was caskets covered with American flags I was at work and I cried. It was sent with the intent that we not forget those who gave the ultimate sacrifice but it hit too close to home. We must keep our Troops at the forefront of the public but not at the cost of invading a private, horribly sad moment. In my opinion, it is up to the family as to what they choose to have made public or kept private.

]]> By: Biermann http://parentszone.org/2009/02/12/coffins-photographs-and-the-families-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-1336 Biermann Sat, 14 Feb 2009 05:20:23 +0000 http://parentszone.org/?p=414#comment-1336 Kathy, It's not about bringing the reality of the sacrifice to many others. It's about the initial contact with the loved one lost. I can't speak from experience, and hope that I never have to, but the issue is having the media cover the return of our fallen hero’s before the family gets the chance to be with them. I agree their story needs to be told, but let us that made that sacrifice along with them tend to our loved one first, just as we are to be notified first before it becomes public knowledge. If the unspeakable happens, I don’t want to see it on FOX, CNN, MSNBC, or the front page of our local news paper before I do. I want that moment to salute, hug, or cry to myself and my family. Afterwards, if I choose, I would have their story told and share it with the world. The group that you speak of from Kansas would love nothing more than to take those pictures of flag draped caskets to prove their point. This is just my view on the topic and I speak as a father of two Army Soldiers and has proudly served this country for over 20 years himself. Biermann Kathy,

It’s not about bringing the reality of the sacrifice to many others. It’s about the initial contact with the loved one lost. I can’t speak from experience, and hope that I never have to, but the issue is having the media cover the return of our fallen hero’s before the family gets the chance to be with them. I agree their story needs to be told, but let us that made that sacrifice along with them tend to our loved one first, just as we are to be notified first before it becomes public knowledge.

If the unspeakable happens, I don’t want to see it on FOX, CNN, MSNBC, or the front page of our local news paper before I do. I want that moment to salute, hug, or cry to myself and my family. Afterwards, if I choose, I would have their story told and share it with the world.

The group that you speak of from Kansas would love nothing more than to take those pictures of flag draped caskets to prove their point.

This is just my view on the topic and I speak as a father of two Army Soldiers and has proudly served this country for over 20 years himself.

Biermann

]]> By: Kathy http://parentszone.org/2009/02/12/coffins-photographs-and-the-families-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-1334 Kathy Fri, 13 Feb 2009 21:52:42 +0000 http://parentszone.org/?p=414#comment-1334 How do I feel about it? Well, I have also planned, dreamed about and imagined my son's funeral, as many other loved ones do when they have a family member at war. If a picture of me hugging my son's coffin helps bring the reality of his sacrifice home to many others, how could I oppose that? I live in the Midwest, and have seen first hand, been exposed to and heard the sect out of Kansas infringe upon the privacy of a military funeral. I was a huge proponent of Nebraska's law that prohibits protestors at military funerals. But I agree, LAW, let Secretary Gates let US have a say in the matter. How do I feel about it? Well, I have also planned, dreamed about and imagined my son’s funeral, as many other loved ones do when they have a family member at war. If a picture of me hugging my son’s coffin helps bring the reality of his sacrifice home to many others, how could I oppose that? I live in the Midwest, and have seen first hand, been exposed to and heard the sect out of Kansas infringe upon the privacy of a military funeral. I was a huge proponent of Nebraska’s law that prohibits protestors at military funerals. But I agree, LAW, let Secretary Gates let US have a say in the matter.

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