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Veterans: Just Can’t Catch a Break!
Thanks to some mighty good and generous friends from Fort Benning who paid his expenses, Noah is currently away on his first vacation since he was wounded in 2005 and was medically discharged (we won’t count his mid-Iraq tour R&R and his 30-day convalescent leave after he was wounded) and he hasn’t seen his mail in the past 3 days. Really. This poor kid just can’t catch a break.
As this recent post illustrates, he has been busting his a$$ since the day he left the Army. He arrived here in AZ on a Friday and began his classes in Fire Science on Monday. He certified as an EMT within 6 months of leaving the service, has completed the basic and advanced Wildfire Academy, completed the seriously rigorous Firefighter Academy, as well as classes in fire codes, inspections, hazardous materials, fire management, business management, and many others. He currently has a 3.85 GPA. He tried to find a job (any job) to supplement his VA disability allowance, but what few jobs were/are available, could not (or would not) accommodate his class schedule — which is inflexible because the classes in his degree program are offered progressively, i.e., one class is offered one semester and the follow-on class offered the next, then the next. If you opt not to take a class this semester, it’s not offered again for 2 or 3 semesters AND you’re then ineligible for the follow-on class. Since this degree program is not only geared to those seeking a first-time career, but also to those already working as firefighters and to those working in some other field but wanting to change careers, many of the classes are late afternoon/night classes (longer classes– fewer days) or every weekend for say 10 weekends.
For the past 18 months, Noah has attended school full time, has almost full time hours as a student intern at the Veterans’ Center, PLUS he is a single Dad with custody of his fifteen-month old son. He also attends regular counseling sessions. He has a lot on his plate for a 23 year old. Hell, for a man of any age!
So here’s what has come in the mail since he left to relax a few days ago:
Even though Noah has had his son living with him for almost a year, it was considered “informal” because there was no court decree. Prior to his divorce being final, he and his (ex-)wife received a subsidy from the state for child care which enabled her to work full time and Noah to attend school and work. When custody was formally granted to Noah, he went to the Department of Economic Security and asked that the subsidy paper work be put in his name and he gave them a copy of his divorce decree — only to learn that the State of AZ considered that a whole new application for a subsidy which, because of the budget deficit in this state, are frozen, and his “new” application WAS DENIED. There was no arguing with these people that nothing had changed except the formality of the baby’s custody. If Noah wants to keep his son in the licensed child care center, it will cost Noah an additional $400-$500 per month!!
Next, he applied for health insurance through the State because he has no real income and (as I wrote here) he has no health coverage (the VA only covers his service-connected conditions):
Veterans of the current conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan who are medically unable to continue in the service but receive less than a 10% disability from their service branch, receive no medical insurance once they separate. For those with service-connected disability ratings of 10 or 20% (ratings are 0% or greater in 10% increments), they receive UP TO 12 months of medical insurance (Tricare) for themselves and their families after separation; for 10% and 20% ratings it is typically 6 months but can be 9 or 12 months depending on the medical condition. If a service member receives a disability rating of 30% or greater from the service branch (a medical retirement), medical insurance for themselves and their families continue at no cost to them FOR LIFE.
Remember: 90% of Soldiers, 83% of Marines, 73% of Airmen and 64% of Sailors who were injured, wounded or became chronically ill while in the service received a disability rating of 20% or less. Unless they were covered by an employer or can afford other insurance within say 6-9 months after their discharge, they and their families have no health insurance coverage.
Although the case worker told Noah that they do not count disability allowances as “income” for purposes of the “how poor are you?” test, they DID, in fact, count his VA disability and — you guessed it — his application for health insurance WAS DENIED. (He has already been turned down by other private insurers because he has too many combat-connected injuries/conditions — and he can’t afford those premiums any way!)
Next, Noah had applied through USAA (I’m not even linking them!!) for some life insurance because, well, he is a responsible parent (and a great Dad, I might add), and he wanted to be sure that his son would be provided for if anything were to happen to Noah. Now, USAA is a membership association and the single requirement for membership is that you (or a close family member) are or have been a member of the Armed Forces of the United States of America — active, Guard, Reserve. Now my DH has been a member since the 60’s and our children have been members since they got driver’s licenses — before any of the sons even entered the services. Today he received a letter saying that his application for life insurance WAS DENIED BASED ON HIS HISTORY OF (symptoms associated with) PTSD ??
WHAT THE HELL??!! This country has sent more than 1.7 million men and women to war over the past 8 years and as many as 20% of these men and women will suffer symptoms of post-traumatic stress and many of those will develop post-traumatic stress disorder/syndrome. This is a business organization who states its mission is “to facilitate the financial security of its members, associates, and their families through provision of a full range of… products and services;” and “to be the provider of choice for the military community”??? Well, USAA, in this regard you are doing a piss poor job of meeting those needs. Will this be just one more reason NOT to seek treatment for the invisible wounds of war?? I’m trying to figure out how they justify this — if they’re wary of say, suicide, don’t most insurance policies limit benefits within 2 years (or some period) or say that benefits won’t be paid in the event of suicide??
Golly gee!! I can’t wait to see what comes in the mail for him tomorrow!! Seriously, I can’t imagine Noah coming home to these things… He just can’t seem to catch a break. And I’d venture to say he’s not the only young OIF/OEF veteran facing such obstacles. (See HERE, for example.)
Doesn’t all this just suck?? As a parent, I am frustrated and angry beyond measure! Already veterans and veterans organizations have had to rant and rail against the new administration to turn them from their proposal of having combat-wounded veterans pay for their care with their own private insurance (if & when they have it). I ask — as I have asked before — IS THIS HOW WE TREAT OUR WOUNDED?? IS THIS HOW WE TREAT OUR VETERANS??? Why would any parent now consider encouraging their child to enlist if it means that they will have to fight and claw for any and every benefit they have EARNED or have to fight against discrimination and reprisal for having served their country and been wounded in that endeavor?? Really. Why would anyone volunteer for that??
PS HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NOAH!!!!
x-posted Some Soldier’s Mom
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Blue Star Moms – the Month of the Military Child
Reaching Out to the Community
One of the services that we promise to provide as a member of the BSM is to educate, another is to support. While we as parents have always done this for our own children, not all of us have done this for others. It’s just not an easy thing to do, to reach out when you, yourself are hurting inside. I find that this is my own way of healing and dealing. Healing the hurt of not having my “baby” with me because he is stationed elsewhere and dealing with the worry, hurt and anger that I feel some times about his being in harms way. Many times we don’t want to give voice to what we are trying to deal with, and it’s damned hard to recognize that we cannot protect those who we have carried for 9 months. That’s why, when I received an update from militaryHOMEFRONT regarding April being the Month of the Military Child, that I decided to request the DVD’s from them (free) to share with my granddaughters.
I wanted them because my oldest granddaughter had asked her Dad just before he left for his first sandbox tour, “what if you die? What will I do?” And for the other two, one who began bedwetting because her sister started Kindergarten and having one more person “leaving” and being separated from her was more then she could take at the time. I wanted to help them be able to see that they are not alone, that other childrens daddies and mommies were not at home too.
Little did I know that so much more would come of this.
After emailing for the free DVD’s, I received an email from, and later had the pleasure of meeting Col. Patrin, MIL USA MEDCOM CMONT one of those who has worked so hard with Maj Lemmon (and many others) to create these free DVDs for the children (and families) of the deployed and who is trying to get the word out about them. My mind began going into overdrive when I started to think of how useful and far reaching this could go in my own hometown. Beginning with just 3 little girls, reaching out to local schools, counselors, mentors, FAMILIES!!! The list is practically endless as to who should & needs to view these DVDs. We are all affected by what is happening, as adults we are able to express how we feel, sometimes effectively and other times, well, not as effectively as we would like. But, imagine being 4 years old and not being able to see Dad or Mom and not really knowing why they are gone or where they are at. Or being 12 years old and having to take on chores that used to be taken care of by one of your parents, as one young man states “having to man up”. Or being a young child or teen and hearing your Mom cry when she thinks you don’t hear her and not being able to help console her, feeling helpless and defenseless. That is what our children and grandchildren are going through, we are not the only ones.
Our BSM’s previewed the teen/young adult video last night. What struck me was that all of the children interviewed in the teen/young adult DVD expressed the same feelings that we, as parents, have given voice to when we reach out to each other. Yet, they hold it in, feeling that they are alone in one way or another while their parent is deployed. I don’t know why I was surprised. Believe me, as a former Scoutmaster, Cubmaster, School Bus Driver and youth camp director, not to mention a MOM, I know when a child is not happy. Finding out what they are unhappy about however, is not always easy. Getting to know them can be a struggle if they don’t want to let you in. But, it is up to all of us, as members of the military community to seek out these families with children of the deployed to help them through this difficult time in their lives. To connect with each other as well so that we stay healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally.
What even surprised me more was how it affected our Moms who were previewing the video. An awareness dawned on all of us, that maybe, we could do something to help our military families with children. It opened up discussions about how we feel as well. My proposal to them was to ask them if they would be willing to work with me in educating our community, carrying forth our mission to help not only our Troops but those courageous ones left behind. So that is what we will be doing during the Month of the Military Child and beyond, we will be helping in any way we can, to educate the community through the use of these DVDs and their handouts and promoting other programs that are available like the Operation Purple Camp.
I believe in the old saying “it takes a village to raise a child.” If we don’t help to ease the minds of our Soldiers while they are away from home by helping to care for the most precious people in their lives, who will?
Operation Purple – NMFA Free Camp
As summer approaches, some of us will have either kids or grandkids who need something to do! How about a weeklong overnight camp for military kids ages 7-17.. and it’s FREE! Look at this -
Since Operation Purple camp’s implementation, the National Military Family Association has sent more than 20,000 military kids to camp for free. In 2009, Operation Purple will host nearly 90 weeks of camp held in 62 locations in 37 states and territories. Camps are free to all participants thanks to support from the Sierra Club and The Sierra Club Foundation.
Registration is here. These camps are for the youngest heroes in the military family, the kids. So if you have grandchildren who you think would enjoy it, take a look, let their parents know it’s there. I know that this was a great program for the National Guard kids during our last deployment with the Guard, the kids got to hang out with other children who’s parent was deployed, who understood what that felt like.
LAW
Mourning a fallen warrior, blogger, writer, son
Milblogging.com has the story of a young man who was killed in action in Afghanistan last week. Sgt Christopher Abeyta – who also wrote a blog. In this story, I was so moved by Sgt. Abeyta’s mother’s actions:
“While deployed, he wrote entries in his ever-present journal, stories on two blogs and letters to his family. His mother held tightly Tuesday to one from November, which she read aloud on her back patio, demanding that his grandmother, Elvira Abeyta, and local veterans gathered around her know the man she raised.
“I know you don’t enjoy the path I have chosen for myself but trust me it’s so very rewarding,” she read. “You know I know it bothers you that I am here. … but what kind of person would I be, Ma, if I didn’t try to make this better.
“OK?” she said at the end. “That’s my son.”
A son who will be loved and missed, a son to be so proud of. This Gold Star Mom will be in my thoughts every day.
LAW
My Daughter, My Soldier
When my daughter Cinderella came to me shortly after graduating high school and said she was going to join the Army I was only a little surprised. A few years prior as we sat in a high school gym watching her brother LCpl Honda compete in wrestling she turned to me and said, “I am going to do that next year mom.” I thought, well ok. Needless to say she made good on her comment and even went on to pin a few boys during her wrestling career.
The day came and she left for boot camp and never looked back. Her reasons for joining were she did not really want to attend college right away because she was concerned about finances and knew she would probably be able to attain a better education after serving with her GI Bill.
Her goals were to do the best job for her country. Now this was pre 9/11 when people were not receiving the accolades for joining and serving that they do today. Not that we were not proud, but I for one was naive thinking the world would remain calm and war was not a possibility in the near future. Boy was I wrong.
Cinderella says like any other job there are pros and cons. She cites job security, guaranteed paycheck, free health and dental insurance as pros for joining the military. For Cinderella the honor of serving her country was by far the biggest pro. She didn’t cite two many cons but did say that nobody likes their job all the time and there were times she had rough days. She said it was tough working long hours on four hours of sleep but understood the job requirements.
Cinderella left the military because she had a young daughter at the time and thought it best to be a full-time mother to her. Would she join again? “In a minute!” she said. But Cinderella has chosen motherhood first. I have to agree with that decision.
Although she would still like to serve she has taken away a lifetime of experiences that a lot of people can’t say they have. Cinderella spent three and a half years active duty as an MP attaining the rank of specialist in the US Army and one year as a specialist in the Army National Guard.
Thank you for your service Spec. Cinderella. We are proud of you!
Deployment book – written by a Sarge!
A Department of Defense counselor, Sgt. Marc CB Maxwell (whose blog is here) has been counseling family members of deployed military for years. He realized that many of us need a guide of some kind to get through deployments – and when he couldn’t find one, he decided to write one! Surviving Military Separation – a 365 Day Activity Guide for the Families of Deployed Personnel is that book. Talk about Military Ingenuity.. if you can’t buy one, make one!
Thanks to Andi at Spousebuzz (h/tip Andi!) I contacted Sgt. Maxwell and asked him if this was directed only to spouses and children. He has assured me that there is something here for everyone in the family!
If you have this book, or if anyone in the family has one, let us know about it.
LAW
Calling all Cooks!!
Honor Their Service is putting together a milbloggers’ cookbook to fund our Operation Fresh Air events as well as future endeavors. Operation Fresh Air is a day of fishing, food and fellowship for wounded/injured servicemembers and their families at Leesylvania State Park. Law says – this is a beautiful place, and a fantastic group of people that put on this event!
I am looking for recipe submissions. Details below the fold. Read more
Being a Blue Star Mom- It’s Forever
I’ve been a BSM for 3 years now and it hasn’t been easy. I’ve sent a lot of packages, cards and more over to my son and his buddies to let all of them know that they are in my thoughts and prayers. I’ve cried A LOT and worried even more. I cry at movies, when watching the news, while washing the dishes and in my sleep. I’ve also cried tears of joy upon seeing him come home for some R&R, at his graduation from BCT and after receiving his phone calls while he was in the sand. A friend told me she has cried enough tears to fill a swimming pool since her sons have been in. It’s just a part of me now, the crying and worrying. I can’t help it, it’s a part of being a BSM.
You see, I don’t have just 3 sons that I gave birth to, I have countless sons and daughters now. My own son made me a part of this huge family when he enlisted, just as all of the others did to their own parents when they signed up. They made us a family of thousands. I stand together with my BSM’s at Homecomings, Memorials, and more. I share in their joy and their sorrow. Whether their child is now a Veteran or still active, they are a BSM. They are my sisters and always will be..
I had the honor of being invited to an event by another group of BSM’s in my state. So, earlier this week, I attended a memorial for the fallen from my State and it was both sorrowful and joyous. The families, I have found out, are resilient. There were tables set up in several rooms, each dedicated to their Soldier, their Son or Daughter. With scrapbooks to look through and photo collages to view of each one of their lives, from beginning to end. Photos of babies, never seen by their Fathers, numerous service medals placed next to Little League photos. Flags in glass cases, crossed sabers on display along with some of their favorite snacks, telling everyone exactly who they were and how much they still loved and missed. I was struck by the parents ability to reach out, part of their healing process, to each other and to every one of us who attended. There were quilts that were lovingly made, some by families and some that were made by others here at home and sent to the soldiers when they arrived wounded. Something to comfort them and remind them of home while they healed. At one table, there was a single photo with the young Soldiers dress uniform lovingly folded next to it. His parents, standing there alone, looking longingly and lovingly at that photograph. I asked if this was their son, and his mother looked at me with some confusion. English was not her or her husbands native language. They were refugees from another war that was not embraced by the American public at the time, but they had made it over here to safety. Their son, in honor of the U.S. giving them refuge and a place to call home that was safer for them, volunteered for OIF because of this, where he gave the ultimate sacrifice in the hope that others would also find a safe haven as his parents did.
When I arrived with my fellow BSM, there weren’t a lot of people there yet, just those who were still setting up tables and the parents who were still fishing through their photos to determine what they wanted to share that day. There were painted portraits, laser-cut portraits, and banners with their pictures on them. While viewing their memories, I was suddenly overcome with emotion while viewing one young Soldier’s lifetime. His position was the same as my own sons and seeing this young man in a photo struck my heart like a bolt of lightening. I stood there and began to cry, my head down, tears slowly rolling over my cheeks. As I reached for a tissue (there was a box at every table), a woman approached me and asked me “hey Mom, do you need a hug?” I turned around and nodded and she gave me a warm, loving hug. I pointed to the picture of this young man and told her that I was so moved, knowing that this young man had served in the same position as my own son. She smiled and nodded and said “yes, my son really loved what he did.” This was HER son’s memorial table and she was the one consoling me! We hugged again and I thanked her for her sacrifice as her son looked on, smiling.
I hope I never have to make a memorial table for my son but I know that if I do, my family, my sisters will be there with me.
Mamaw
