Impact of deployment on children

I’ve heard the children of the military called the youngest draftees – they are the ones who didn’t sign up for the life as a military brat, they were born into it, or their parent signed up and they were pulled along into it.
My son was a MilBrat – then we got out and he didn’t soak in the military (except for one weekend a month and two weeks a year) until later – then he joined up. Now he’s out of the Army – Our granddaughter will only get the military lifestyle one level removed, her grandpa Chief is in and will be for a while.
I’ve talked to military spouses, who are coping with deployments, but watching as their children have trouble getting through yet another absence by that service member. It’s hard to watch your child hurting – and it’s agony to watch your child’s child in pain. The military has realized there is a problem.
Deployments since fighting began in Iraq and Afghanistan have affected nearly 2 million military children, and about 234,000 of those children currently have at least one parent deployed, according to a 2007 Defense Manpower Data Center report.
The Defense Department has programs for the children, as does Military OneSource; We all know about the Sesame Street DVD and I’m told having Elmo tell you something is very special (direct from the granddaughter’s mouth!) The Military Child Education Coalition website looked promising to me.
As grandparents of military children, we have a special role in their lives. I remember that when we moved constantly (when my father was in the State Department), my grandparents were my constant, their house was always the same, I could find everything and my Omi was a rock who was there, always. It’s an important role for us – any advice for your fellow MilParent?
LAW
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Sorrow for our PZ Family
ProudMom3 lost a grandchild this week. Please keep her, and her family, in your thoughts and prayers. Julie – we all send our condolences and love.
LAW
How can she help Military Parents?
Parents – I received an email from an employee at a Best Buy store.. and I was so impressed with her desire to help the parents of serving military. What would YOU want to tell her? Can we get her the information she needs? can we help her, help more like us? I’ve already sent her the Blue Star Mothers site – but there has to be more we can do!
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My name is Sabrina and I’ve been put in charge of the military initiatives here at my Best Buy Store . I saw your site and was very curious. You see in my store, and I’m sure many others, we have quite a few employees who are either returning from deployments, returning from TBS/OCS, or are looking into joining the military. Although our store is situated near a military recruiting office, I don’t believe that there’s enough information for the parents, siblings, or children of those that are in, or seeking to go into, the military.
As we also have a volunteer mentoring program here at our store, and as part of our corporate community relations initiatives; I was wondering what assistance our military employees could be to the parents of someone looking to join the military and to the children of military parents.
With the Military recruiting offices being so close to so many locations of BBY stores, quite a few of the younger employees who have considered a military career go over and ask for information or talk with recruiters. While this helps them, I don’t believe it provides enough information to their parents and/or siblings who need to understand what their children/siblings/family member will be going into. So many of what I overhear from the ones with concerns are questions like: Is my child going off to die? How will TBS/OCS change who they are? Will I know my child when they come home from training/deployment?
I’d like to be able to offer the concerned parents/family members some kind of resource or forum that they can go to attain the answers they need. Someplace where they can talk to other parents with the same concerns, and others who have been through this and know what is the best way they can be concerned while still being supportive of their loved ones decision. Most parents worry about their children going off to college, but when that child wants to discuss joining the military it becomes a whole new ball game. I’d like to be able to offer what support and resources I can.
Signs of Respect
In Sullivan Illinois, the residents have found a great way to honor their military residents serving in the US Armed Forces. When many were deployed to Afghanistan in 2004, the soldier’s names were nailed to lampposts. As more and more young people volunteered in Sullivan, population 4,400, the parents decided to keep up the tradition.
More than a hundred town residents have served abroad and dozens more will still deploy to either Iraq or Afghanistan. Some names have hung more than once while spouses and siblings are displayed two to a post.
This is the town’s small, informal way of showing its respect to those members of the community who for the most part joined the military out of patriotism.
In Sullivan, the effort to support military personnel and their families includes churches, care package packing parties and coffee klatches. The wonderful thing here is the residents have taken their support an additional step by putting up the signs and honoring their military even further.
As we military family members know, support is imperative during deployment. It is hard for non-military people to understand the fear and helplessness when a loved one deploys for a war zone. The signs are a great way of reminding people on a daily basis that someone’s family member is in harm’s way and protecting each and every one of us.
Since my son will soon be deployed my need for support and understanding grows with each passing day. I think doing something like this in my hometown would be a great comfort to me. Maybe since this story is out other towns might want to do something like this too.
Some might worry about putting a loved one’s name on a sign in public. Let’s face it there are a few crazies out there. I suggest family members or the actual service member have the option of just using their first name. The whole world does not necessarily have to know the service member’s whole name and this might bring a little piece of mind to people who may be skeptical.
So I say spread the word and maybe this could grab some momentum and before we know it many towns and cities could be demonstrating yet one more way to say thank you to our brave military.
ProudMom3
Volunteer – how YOU can help.
I am really excited that we were able to complete our very first packaging yesterday evening with our Blue Star Mom Chapter. We had 26 boxes to send out to the Troops but it’s a start. We also had 3 LARGE boxes to send over to Landstuhl for our Wounded Warrior Project. That, to me, was so wonderfully fulfilling.
Not everyone could be there, but helping us last night were most of our Moms, my other two sons plus two friends of one of them. Yes, the friends were there initially for their own reasons (community service hours) but once we finished they had a new perspective. They have asked to be included in future events like our care package boxing night because they had fun.. Before we began, I explained to them what we were doing, who it was for and why we were doing it. One of them wasn’t sure about the wounded warrior items, what wounded, what did that mean, he asked. We spoke about our soldiers who come off the battlefield, what happens, where they go. As he began to comprehend and digest what he was being told, about what we were doing and why, he seemed to work a little harder and faster. They hauled in supplies, donated by a local Girl Scout Troop and others. They helped with the heavy stuff that we ladies couldn’t lift and once we were done, they loaded the boxes for mailing into the van for us too. They even double checked the boxes before sealing them to ensure that everything fit right. They were smiling the whole time! They drove away happy, uplifted and I’m sure that although they couldn’t really put any name to it, they just felt better.
What did it cost them? Yes, they did benefit from their time but so did we, so will others. If the gift of time is all they can afford to give, then I’ll take it! Yes, we could use more items donated to send over to the Troops. We could use assistance with our Veterans, with the families of the deployed whose homes are in disrepair, with the children of the deployed in coping with having a parent gone. Each service organization reaching out to the community through any means possible can ensure that all who have never even thought of giving the gift of time is allowed a chance to do so. There are so many people who think they are alone, who need that extra encouraging smile, that nod to help them on their path.
What can we do to help? I love those words! By reaching out to the community we touch lives in a positive way, you never know how much of a difference you will make in the life of someone else. So, yes, the homeboys will be back, and if you, your family or friends want to help out, all you have to do is let me know (if you live in my area).
As I tell the recruiters, send me their Mothers and we will take care of them, and in doing so, we take care of the family. If you don’t volunteer already, I am asking you to be a part of something bigger then yourself, be an active part of our Military Family and reach outside of your comfort zone. Veterans can volunteer in classrooms, be a volunteer reader at the library, help out with Boy Scouts or Cub Scouts or at the YMCA, check out your local police department and volunteer there to help the community. The community can volunteer at a Veteran Hospital, or collect items to send to the Troops, have a yard sale and donate the proceeds, donate blood, whatever! You will be happy you did.








