Parents Zone » Basic Training

The Bonds That Tie

somesoldiersmom — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 20:29:13 +0000

Over at PBS.org I have written a post about the meaningful bonds that are forged during military service… among soldiers… among wives… among parents…

Throughout the course of our lifetimes, we make and break bonds with people. Some bonds are formed in friendship: schoolmates, neighbors, fellow workers. I have close friends from each of those groups. I maintain, however, that the bonds forged in military service are perhaps the strongest of all bonds. Stronger than steel. Stronger than adversity. Stronger than time.

We all know the story of veterans sittin’ around and one says, “No shit!! There I was…” followed by a story of improbability or hilarity, typically punctuated with profanity, irreverent phrases and sordid images. It will end with much backslapping and hearty handshakes. The circle might contain members of a single unit or a single war, or it might contain an assortment of veterans from many of this nation’s conflicts. But they are bonded and tied to each other by the commonality of their service. Some are bonded by the mettle and the blood of battle. You need look no further than the Illiad or the St. Crispen’s Day speech from Shakespeare’s Henry V for evidence of the emotional connection these men share.

[snip]

Some of my closest friends today are people I didn’t know before my son deployed. We met via military blogs (including my own) and private online Internet forums established by parents of soldiers — one by a Third Infantry Division parent, another established by military moms for military moms. These were places to share information, to share worry, to celebrate good news and to commiserate when the news was bad. These were places that let us share this bond, hammered and shaped by our worry for our sons and daughters.

These relationships are equal parts ethereal and practical; as much emotional as they are physical. It involves both the spiritual and the material worlds — prayers and novena candles as well as care packages and cookie recipes. It is an inclusive sisterhood for which we did not volunteer, but in which we are now forever members.

You can read it all at PBS/POV: Conversations on Coming Home

Soldiers Have Parents??

somesoldiersmom — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 21:21:29 +0000

We are a military family. All three of our sons enlisted while they were single (unmarried) and many of “Our Guys” (soldiers we consider family) have also been single. As a result, I have from time to time done some complaining about how about half of Army soldiers are UNmarried but that “family” resources and information were principally for spouses — parents left out of the loop. (I actually asked what was being done for the “other half” of the Army while participating in a blogger’s roundtable that included the Secretary of the Army…)

While recently cruising the Army Home Page on Military OneSource, I was pleased to see the following prominently featured on the page:

New to the Army? Help Keep Your Parents in the Loop

If you’ve just joined the Army and your parents aren’t familiar with military life, keep them in the loop with these materials:

Resources for Parents of Soldiers

When Your Son or Daughter Goes Through Basic Combat Training

I don’t know how long that’s been up there and I’m sure the Army didn’t need any prodding from parents… however it got there and however long it’s been there, THANK YOU!!

The information under “When Your Son or Daughter…” is pretty basic (it’s a starting point), but you should also seek out additional information from sites specific to the military installation/branch of service where your child is undergoing training.

The “Resources…” page provides links to official and unofficial web sites that you might, as a parent, find useful, but also be sure to check out blogs like ParentsZone.org and other military blogs (”Milblogs” — you can find blogs by branch of service as well as those blogs by parents at www.milblogging.com).

As the parent of a soldier, you should become familiar with some of the other resource information contained on other Army and Dept. of Defense sites for future reference… such as the Army Well-Being site and the Military Homefront page.

I’d really like the Army and the other services to produce content specific to parents (or non-spousal family) with the idea that these people are usually remote (away) from their soldier’s military installation and typically have no idea how to contact the installation or chain of command (or even who that might be) in an emergency… or what resources are available to their soldier/sailor/marine/airman/coastie or to the family member (be that a parent, aunt, uncle, sister or brother…) when faced with serious issues involving their child (for example, post-deployment issues). (And, yes, I know that there are those who actually joined the military to AVOID their parents… but every soldier has a next-of-kin somewhere — that are not “in the loop” but should be!)

I did also find some parent-related information for the other services (some official, some unofficial):

for Parents of Marines
A Parent’s Guide to the Marine Corps
USMC – Recruit Training
Marine Parents.com

For Navy Parents
Navy for Moms
Navy Dads

For Air Force Parents
Parents of the Enlisted

AF — you could do better… information or links for parents could easily be added to AFCrossroads.

For Coast Guard Parents (nice job CG!!)

For National Guard Families

General informational links for all branches, Guard and Reserves at Today’s Military and Military.com

How can she help Military Parents?

LAW — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 18:16:57 +0000

Parents – I received an email from an employee at a Best Buy store.. and I was so impressed with her desire to help the parents of serving military. What would YOU want to tell her? Can we get her the information she needs? can we help her, help more like us? I’ve already sent her the Blue Star Mothers site – but there has to be more we can do!

********************************

My name is Sabrina and I’ve been put in charge of the military initiatives here at my Best Buy Store . I saw your site and was very curious. You see in my store, and I’m sure many others, we have quite a few employees who are either returning from deployments, returning from TBS/OCS, or are looking into joining the military. Although our store is situated near a military recruiting office, I don’t believe that there’s enough information for the parents, siblings, or children of those that are in, or seeking to go into, the military.

As we also have a volunteer mentoring program here at our store, and as part of our corporate community relations initiatives; I was wondering what assistance our military employees could be to the parents of someone looking to join the military and to the children of military parents.

With the Military recruiting offices being so close to so many locations of BBY stores, quite a few of the younger employees who have considered a military career go over and ask for information or talk with recruiters. While this helps them, I don’t believe it provides enough information to their parents and/or siblings who need to understand what their children/siblings/family member will be going into. So many of what I overhear from the ones with concerns are questions like: Is my child going off to die? How will TBS/OCS change who they are? Will I know my child when they come home from training/deployment?

I’d like to be able to offer the concerned parents/family members some kind of resource or forum that they can go to attain the answers they need. Someplace where they can talk to other parents with the same concerns, and others who have been through this and know what is the best way they can be concerned while still being supportive of their loved ones decision. Most parents worry about their children going off to college, but when that child wants to discuss joining the military it becomes a whole new ball game. I’d like to be able to offer what support and resources I can.

One of our own needs our help!

ArmyHousehold6 — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:13:31 +0000

I received this information today and it nearly broke my heart! (actually it brought me to tears) I thought I HAVE to do something for this young man! As many of us living this life know , we are one BIG military family. Well… one of our own needs our help!

For those not in the military…if you have ever wondered “what can I do for our wounded warriors”, well THIS IS IT!!!! You can read his story below …

If you would like to send cards, letters and/or care packages… please let me know. You can email me at tammy . munson @ gmail . com (don’t include spaces) We are not publishing this soldiers’ email address on the internet for his safety and security.

Thanks – Tammy aka Household6 (and PZ Techmama too)
x-posted at ArmyHousehold6.com

_____________________________________________

From 1SG Brian M. Disque

I know a young man who is in desperate need of help. His name is PFC Hunter Levine. He is 20 years old and hails from Houston, TX.

He was in my company and was wounded on 9 May, 2008 while conducting combat operations in East Baghdad. He received a very serious injury to his face, resulting in the loss of his entire bone structure, mouth, nose, and vision.

He was evacuated to Walter Reed Hospital where the doctors performed numerous surgeries to repair his

face. I was fortunate enough to attend a Purple Heart Ceremony at Walter Reed while I was home on leave in June. I was also able to meet with Hunter’s father Beau.

Hunter was then transferred to a VA hospital in California, where the best care for his vision would be available. He is a true fighter with a heart of gold.

Bad News

Unfortunately, I received some bad news from the hospital doctors. Lately, he has been resisting treatment and being somewhat combative with the hospital staff. He has had a few outbursts and the staff is real worried about him. It seems like a serious case of depression is setting in.

Although his wounds on the outside may look bad, they may never compare with the wounds he has on the inside.

I spoke with him on the phone this evening, and he seemed real down. The reality is that he still has a long road to recover and may never see again. This young man has everything to live for and is a true inspiration. He is exactly the kind of person we would all want in a brother, son, or friend. I feel obligated to try and rally some support for him. I know we have a lot of caring people out there who would love to do something special for an outstanding American who gave his all for his country.

Call to Action

If you know of any church groups, school room classes, or other benevolent organizations that would be interested in assisting this brave young man, please forward this message on to them.

He is a pretty typical young man, so he likes sports and other typical young men stuff. A small care package with some goodies and such would mean the world.

Again, please forward this message to as many people as you know. It would be so great if we can all give way together and show Hunter that his country will never forget his sacrifices or service. He is down and needs our help.

Thank you for your support, it means everything.

V/R,
1SG Brian M. Disque
C CO 2-30 IN

“Our Country, Not Ourselves!”

Worry… We Worry

somesoldiersmom — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 19:36:57 +0000

Last night on SpouseBuzz Radio, two of my fellow contributors here at Parents Zone and I talked with AF Wife about what it’s like to have a child in the military and the fear we feel for our adult children (LAW and I managed to monopolize the conversation and Tammy, we sooo need to make this up to you!!) In the 4 years that I have been blogging and through Lord knows how many troop rotations to Iraq and Afghanistan (I don’t think they’re adding numbers to the OIF____ label anymore), I realize and completely accept that it’s universal. Every parent has the same fear for their child/children… and it doesn’t make a difference whether it’s their first deployment or their third. We worry.

Back in December 2004 — before my son even left for his deployment to Iraq — I wrote a blog post about how You Always Worry and talked about how our worry changes as our children grow… as they learned to walk, to run, to ride, to drive… I was talking with a dear, close friend whose Army National Guard son is scheduled for his second deployment to Iraq in 2009 and who recently learned that his unit might go months earlier than originally scheduled. You could hear the worry in her voice and we talked about “the last time” when both our sons were deployed at the same time. I went back and read some of my blog posts back during that deployment, and I discovered how often worry was a topic. Just weeks before my son was wounded, I explained:

It’s a constant 24 hour a day worry that wears on you, grates on you, weighs on you. It’s physically and mentally exhausting. I don’t always realize it but sometimes I wonder why I’m so tired some nights or why I can’t sleep most nights… It’s the worry. The wear and tear of it. It’s like the drone of a motor always on or the hum from fluorescent lights… always there… always present… even when you’re doing other things or thinking other thoughts… it’s THERE. The worry is always there. I know other moms and dads and wives and husbands and sisters and brothers will understand what I mean.

Last year I was speaking with a Major General who is the son of a retired Army Colonel and who is also the father of a fairly new Army Lieutenant. He told me that he had been in the Army 32 years and married for 31 of those… and through his many deployments over his career, he always told his family not to worry as he waved goodbye for one assignment or another to dangerous parts of the globe… but he said it was a whole new world when it was he who stood on the front porch as his own son told him not to worry as he left for his first deployment to Iraq… he told me that sending his child off to war was the hardest thing he had ever done.

So, while the media may be ignoring the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan (unless, of course, there is some political point to be made), I know in hearing from parents, spouses, friends and families of our Soldiers and Marines that these are still universal emotions for the families of those who serve. And it matters not whether our children are single, married, divorced, have children of their own… parents STILL worry.

I also know from experience, that a burden shared, is a burden lightened. I know that right now people are consumed with worry about the economy and the election… Lord knows there is plenty of worry to go around. I just ask you to take a moment and remember our troops deployed around the world, about to be deployed and those who are home (because we know that for some the battle doesn’t end on the battlefield)… say a prayer, have a good thought, generate positive energy — whatever it is you do…. remember our Guys… and their families…. thank a veteran… say a kind word… call someone you know who is worrying. It will make your day.

x-posted at Some Soldier’s Mom

It’s not just moms, or dads, it’s brothers too!

LAW — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 20:04:25 +0000

Sometimes we forget, that every member of the family is affected by the decision one makes to join the military. The Moms and Dads… we remember our baby, our child and are so proud, and apprehensive, and worried, and then more proud. The brothers and sisters… how do they feel? I, for one, have no siblings, and we only had the one child. I always wondered how the siblings feel. Now, I’ll be able to learn that too.

Two young men have decided to write a blog whilst their big brother is in Basic Training! The Brothers Blog is a celebration of brotherly love for the soldier they miss and look up to. Anyone else have a siblings blog? If you do, please send the link. We’d love to put it on our Roll.

LAW

the BIG day – Graduation from Basic!

LAW — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:46:22 +0000

Progress and Graduation:

And the countdown continues! You worry, and hope for that call (by the way, this is something you’ll be doing for a long time!) Progress is hard to judge, since you aren’t getting calls or letters. BUT – the military thought of this. There are sites for you to check on what the class is doing – see their schedule and wonder how they pack it all in. There are links to the sites listed below

SSM: Most units have a web page where you can at least access a syllabus of their training regimen week by week and track their progress towards “graduation”. And whatever you do — if you can make the graduation — DO IT! You’ll never regret it.

Lela: parents can get a lot of info on what mail to do (or not do) from the websites, as well as training schedules. The site really helped me deal with the “no news is good news” part of wondering why my son didn’t write. I looked at his schedule, saw how chock full it was, or that there was a test coming up, and it eased the worry.

GRADUATION!

Finally – it ends. They are graduating, and it’s impressive! Now – the graduation date can change.. a few times. Keep an eye on the website!

The DAY: First, you meet up at the barracks.. and it’s hard to recognize your recruit! There are rules that the recruit cannot leave post before graduation. In some cases, they need a “post pass” to be able to leave the company area – on Knox you can hit the museum, or the bowling alley (which was packed with parents, recruits, brothers and sisters, girlfriends, wives, kids… a very happy place) They have curfew, and cannot drink alcohol. Don’t let them get into trouble on the last night.. because they can and have been set back at the last minute.

They have made battle buddies that they may or may not see again, but for that time, that place, they were closer than anyone else can imagine. They grew up, lost weight, are suddenly amazingly polite and stand at parade rest when talking to you, they made a huge decision and are making more every day.

The ceremony is done as only the military can do it. Marching, music.. and then they put their hands up and take that oath. There were a lot of tears during that ceremony.. a lot of tears and memories. Remembering that little boy who learned to ride a bike, the little girl getting on the school bus for the first time by herself, the child who went away to Scout camp, all grown up now. It was a moment none of us will ever forget.

LINKS:

ARMY

http://www.goarmy.com/life/basic/index.jsp The Army site

http://www.jackson.army.mil/ Ft. Jackson

http://www.knox.army.mil/school/194arbde/index.htm Ft. Knox

http://www.wood.army.mil/HQ310/ Ft. Leonard Wood

http://sill-www.army.mil/434/index.htm Ft. Sill

https://www.benning.army.mil/infantry/ Ft. Benning

NAVY

http://www1.netc.navy.mil/nstc/ Naval Service Command – Great Lakes

MARINES

http://www.mcrdpi.usmc.mil/ Parris Island

http://www.mcrdsd.usmc.mil/ San Diego

AIR FORCE

http://www.lackland.af.mil/units/737trg.asp Air Force – Lackland

COAST GUARD

http://www.uscg.mil/hq/capemay/ Cape May – Coast Guard

Boot Camp Crud – Part 3 of Boot Camp Basic

LAW — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 09:51:50 +0000

The Crud -

Recipe:

Take 30 or so men (or women) from all over the country and all their accompanying germs.

Add: Very little sleep

Stress and tension

Strange food, eaten at full tilt

Physical training and running everywhere

Sleeping in close quarters

Result: The Crud – usually a nagging, nasty, cough/cold, sinus involvement possible.

Your recruit will get sick. No matter how healthy, how prepared with running and physical training – your recruit will get the Crud. They ARE allowed to go to the clinic, but you will find your recruit will not want to – for whatever reason. They are scared that they will miss something important. Don’t worry, if they really get very sick, the Drill Instructor will make them go! One mom sent a LARGE box of bandaids – all sizes. BLISTERS! Those new boots will rub in some strange places.

LAW – our son’s biggest request was for cough drops. My husband thought it was for candy – sweet is sweet, but we found out that every one had a cold! His drill Sgt – at graduation- thanked me for sending the box of Halls that I shipped (of course I had to strain to hear him.. he had laryngitis!)

SSM – Navy, Marine or Army (I haven’t heard this from any AF moms) — they all get it — do you know that is why they sleep foot/head/foot head at boot camp? so no one is breathing on any other recruit!! (doesn’t help — they all get it anyway!

Lela: He did send me a note asking for vitamins and sore throat drops. They get the Boot Camp Crud at Parris Island as well. Everyone got sick at some point, according to my son. He also asked for bug spray to try to combat the sand fleas. According to him, it didn’t work.

So- did yours get the Crud, or something different? Any other suggestions?

Let’s get down to Basics – Part Two

LAW — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 21:12:05 +0000

Mail (from home type, multiple)

Mail call is the highlight of the day – and the more mail the better. BUT, and this is a big but, there are rules about what can be sent. Letters, cards, pictures, those are fine. Funny cards can lift the spirits; newspaper articles or the funnies, or the local paper are great. NO Pornography, NO food, NO candy, NO alcohol or other contraband. The packages will be opened, and your recruit will pay the price. Extra PT (physical training) can result, and the heartbreak of watching the drill instructor EATING those goodies in front of the unit, is really adding insult to injury…Things like cough drops are allowed, and in fact are a good idea to send – all those recruits from other parts of the country – all those germs, lots of physical activity and lack of sleep, means their immunity system is down, and they ALL get colds. (But that’s tomorrow’s topic)

SSM: The Army son’s unit also had a contest to see which soldier received the most mail and received the most pictures from home — and our son’s friends certainly got into the spirit of it as he won the most mail and the most pictures contests… However, no food could be sent and the Sgt.s confiscated any food… opening the packages in front of the unit — home baked goods they kept for themselves and destroyed all the rest. If a recruit received food (or other contraband — alcohol, cigarettes, porn, etc.) the recruit was “smoked” (severe physical training to the point of barfing).

LAW – my son’s request was for cough drops but he loved the cards – I’d send a couple a week, as did his girlfriend at the time. My husband told me – NO food… I so wanted to send a box of cookies, but we knew the rules. Mail call was so important! Any encouraging news, or news about the dogs, the neighbours, old friends, any news at all. But telling him how proud we were of him, really helped him get through it.

SSM: My advice to parents is to remember the military (mom’s) mantra: “no news is good news ’cause bad news travels fast” and to just keep writing those letters, sending funny cards and getting as many of their friends and family to do the same!! Your son or daughter will be sore, tired, depressed, home sick… and they need all the support they can get — even if you don’t hear back from them! They haven’t forgotten you and will call just as soon as they can!

From Lela: [my son] told me that it was heartbreaking to see packages with food destroyed or eaten by the DI’s when they were soooooo hungry. He did send me a note asking for vitamins and sore throat drops. He also asked for bug spray to try to combat the sand fleas. According to him, it didn’t work. Mostly, he wanted pictures of the family to attach to the inside of his “cover” or hat. He said it really helped to have them there as a reminder of who he was and why he was going thru hell. He did tell me that the cards and letters from the family were a real boost, even though he didn’t reply to most of them …. he chose sleep.

Please let us know what your recruit wanted – any good ideas for new parents? What did your recruit ask you for specifically?

MilParents – Let’s Get down to Basic

LAW — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 00:55:03 +0000

Training, that is. (Part one of five)

What to know or expect when your son or daughter goes to Basic Training – (now called Basic Combat Training)

First and foremost - be very proud of them. The whole point of this training, is to take them from the adult they think they are – to the adult the Army/AirForce/Marines/Navy/Coast Guard wants to have. This is going to be a hard 9 weeks or more.

Second – you won’t hear from them very often, if at all! They are not allowed to have their cell phones (this is sometimes difficult to fathom in this day and age) This is something you need to remember while your child is in the service – repeat after me: NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS.

From Some Soldier’s Mom: I have 3 sons that went to Basic (or Boot Camp)… and we received a brief phone call when each arrived at their destination (two at Great Lakes Naval Station and one at Fort Benning). We received two brief letters and a post card from the oldest (Navy) and then a few phone calls when permitted. We got two or three letters over the course of Navy Boot from the middle son and two phone calls. Army Sgt.s apparently do not want to be hearing from soldiers’ mommas and it was a requirement at Basic that they write home once a week or 10 days… although we did not start receiving letters until about his 3rd week into training. Parents have to realize that their sons and daughters are being physically and mentally stretched to the breaking point and they are so sore and tired at the end of EVERY day, that they sincerely do not have the energy to write letters home… and they do not have telephone privileges until very late into their training. My son said when he had to choose whether to take 15 minutes to write a letter or get 15 minutes extra of sleep — sleep won every time!! From LAW – I got a couple of scrawled notes – I’m tired, I’m tired, working hard, I’m tired, and 1 or 2 brief calls, hi, love you, tired He stood in line for a long time to call, but couldn’t talk for long – the line behind him was just as long! Tammy – Husband was so exhausted he managed to write postcards to the kids.. but not many calls – Sleep was the winner.

Their schedules are amazingly full. Some of it doesn’t make much sense. Their schedules are posted, on the website of the facility where they are training. Links will be provided – Friday’s portion of this series.

Please – GIVE US YOUR STORIES, YOUR QUESTIONS, YOUR COMMENTS!

*****Tomorrow – what to send and what NOT to send **************