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Coffins, Photographs and the families rights
ParentsZone has always been fiercely apolitical, and will remain so. I don’t personally feel this is a totally political action or that it is strictly partisan. This hits ALL of the military family equally, and there are a lot of questions that we are all asking. The answers are not easy to find. With this caveat:
As you may have read, the Secretary of Defense is reviewing the policy of taking photographs of coffins of the recently fallen soldiers from Iraq and Afghanistan arriving at Dover AFB. This is one of those subjects that makes those of us who have family members serving – think, twitch and wonder what would we do.
As Andi on SpouseBuzz said – we plan funerals, in our heads. Yes, I’ve planned my husband’s (with no help from him, other than a request for Dixie played by bagpipes). I planned my son’s too. (the music for that one was difficult too) I haven’t had to use those plans…and I haven’t thought about the media, other than to hope they will show some respect. That, unfortunately, isn’t what has happened at many funerals. I went to nine funerals last deployment, and the media held back – it could have been that Midwestern reticence, but I’ll figure it was the Patriot Guard!
So how do I feel about it? I don’t honestly know. I’ve read other blogs about it, I’ve always thought that maybe the other 99% of the US population should see the true cost of the war; not just the money, but the lives – the lives lost, the lives shattered, the lives of the children losing a parent, the parent losing a child, the lives of the friends who mourn. But those same families and friends have the right to mourn in private, to survive the pain without cameras in their faces.
How do I feel? Confused. I know that I understand the families’ point of view that don’t want the pictures taken, I know I understand those that say these coffins, when they arrive, don’t have names on them that can be seen by photographers, that no-one is saying that they want to take pictures of widows and parents receiving the coffins, but is this the slippery slope we hear so much about? If we allow a photograph of a coffin on a plane floor, does that mean we will allow a picture of a woman kissing the coffin, of a child hugging the coffin holding her daddy?
And I want Secretary Gates to ask us. Not the Generals, not the under secretary of whatever, ask us. We are the ones who this will affect, we are the ones who live with this possibility. Please, tell me what you think.
LAW
A new PSA campaign for Veterans.
From Mamaw – an announcement.
******
We’re Making History Today
I want to share something very exciting with you.
Today, IAVA is launching a ground-breaking Public Service Announcement (PSA) campaign with the Ad Council. This historic, multi-year, national effort is aimed at easing the transition for veterans returning home from combat.
Even if you’re not familiar with the Ad Council, you know their work. They have been behind some of our country’s most iconic PSA campaigns, including Smokey the Bear, “Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Drunk”, and “A Mind is A Terrible Thing to Waste”. Now, they’ve teamed up with IAVA to create the largest campaign to date focused on veterans returning from Iraq and Afghanistan.
And at the center of this campaign is a new private social network, exclusively for Iraq and Afghanistan veterans, at CommunityOfVeterans.org.
Please help us spread the word about this historic campaign. Forward this email to your friends and family members, and tell the veterans in your life to check out CommunityofVeterans.org.
Together, we have the potential to dramatically improve the lives of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans and their families nationwide.
Thank you for standing with us, and Happy Veterans Day.
Update on PFC Hunter Levine
Well I just wanted to take a minute and thank everyone who emailed/commented over the last 24 hours about PFC Levine. If I haven’t responded to you yet.. don’t worry I will tonight/tomorrow. There has been an outpouring of support so we are trying to filter it all and get Hunter what he needs. If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to contact me at tammy.munson@gmail.com.
I am currently working with the executor of Hunter’s foundation to get a list of what Hunter may need and to setup a fundraiser for him.
Also we’re working on setting up a email list of rapid responders when we hear of things like this if you’d like to be included, please sign up at http://www.armyhousehold6.com (left side of page)
To read Hunter’s story click here
I received this email from Julie with BlueStarMoms who visited with Hunter on Saturday .. so I wanted to pass it along..
Well, we already went today and just got back actually but we wouldn’t mind going again. When I say we, I took my daughter-in-law and granddaughters too. One of the staff did go in ahead and asked Hunter if he minded us coming in. That was Hunters request to be notified ahead of time.
I figured that if he did not want visitors today that we would just leave what we had brought for him there for him to have and I understood his request. He let us come in because I told the nurse about my son serving in Iraq. That seemed to make Hunter feel better.
We just stopped in for a minute and took a card, a box of See’s lollipops, some other candy and a small fimo clay frog wind chime. (FROG=Freely Rely On God) That made him sorta laugh, the wind chime. He said he didn’t know where to put it so we suggested over the a/c unit or hang it on the window that way he could know if the a/c was working or not.
I figured that he could use the practice in getting his other senses a little sharper while his eyesight was getting some work. The room was pretty warm though, and there was a soldier visiting him as well so I didn’t want to take up too much of his time. I will call Stephanie later this week and see if he wouldn’t mind having us visit again, without the girls though. I would love to have you come with or meet me there. I have a map now and it is pretty easy to get to.
He has a DVD player and an i-pod and told me he has all the music he needs, he is still pretty angry inside. I know that later in life he will look back and think about us going there, it will be just a random thought but I hope it will be a good one.
Also, my granddaughters class is going to make a mobile for his room, that should help him with some eye coordination exercises without him knowing that he is actually doing them.
I did see that he had the DVD Gladiator (great movie!) so he has some vision. He also had a watch on with a magnifier on it. Also, the lollipops will help with the muscles in his neck which will in turn help with the face restructuring.
In fact, I am thinking that getting some crossword puzzle books and other items like that as well as some cards for other soldiers who are there would be worthwhile. There were a couple who had no visitors and looked like they could use someone to visit with.
Thanks,
Household6
AUSA – Day Two
This was my first FULL day at AUSA – I attended a large session with dozens of FRG leaders in the audience. This was directed at the Reserve and Guard Components – lots of memories of the last deployment for me, when my husband was with the Minnesota Guard. Those Guard Parents out there – Changes are coming, at the usual Army glacial pace – but they are coming.
I have lots of links etc to share with you. A new format/page structure will be coming soon on PZ, and they’ll be easy to find.
But – I am really psyched about vFRG. One point I checked on with the ArmyOneSource folks - If your soldier’s unit has a Virtual Family Readiness Group Site - you can click in, and request that you be added – this email goes to your soldier and supposedly all he/she needs to do is click Yes (or whatever the box says) and you will be added to the list. Now the VFRG is only as good as the support from the unit, that’s its one drawback – but it IS a start. So talk to your soldier – tell him to get off his tail and add you!
I collected many many cards from “Family Resource” booths and talked about the need for Parents to be included in that umbrella of “Family”. And I was heartened by how many groups are realizing this! Military Family Network even has a portion of their site for Military Parents.. Another group, for the caregiver for a wounded servicemember, is very open to helping Military Parents – they are called Operation Life Transformed . The Brass – ie Senior military – also talked about Extended Families. So there is hope out there for Parents – who won’t be relegated as just “some soldiers mom“.
As mentioned above, we are going to make some changes here, let us know what you want to see, and what you need to see, and what you don’t want to see.
LAW
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Recent Posts
- The Importance of Receiving Help – and How to Ask for It
- Tackling dependency head on
- Ideas for a Special Homecoming
- Help Your Kids Learn to Deal with Their Emotions
- Creative Ways to Connect Your Child and Your Soldier