As the parent of a soldier, you should become familiar with some of the other resource information contained on other Army and Dept. of Defense sites for future reference… such as the Army Well-Being site and the Military Homefront page.

I’d really like the Army and the other services to produce content specific to parents (or non-spousal family) with the idea that these people are usually remote (away) from their soldier’s military installation and typically have no idea how to contact the installation or chain of command (or even who that might be) in an emergency… or what resources are available to their soldier/sailor/marine/airman/coastie or to the family member (be that a parent, aunt, uncle, sister or brother…) when faced with serious issues involving their child (for example, post-deployment issues). (And, yes, I know that there are those who actually joined the military to AVOID their parents… but every soldier has a next-of-kin somewhere — that are not “in the loop” but should be!)

I did also find some parent-related information for the other services (some official, some unofficial):

for Parents of Marines
A Parent’s Guide to the Marine Corps
USMC – Recruit Training
Marine Parents.com

For Navy Parents
Navy for Moms
Navy Dads

For Air Force Parents
Parents of the Enlisted

For Coast Guard Parents (nice job CG!!)

For National Guard Families

General informational links for all branches, Guard and Reserves at Today’s Military and Military.com

Signs of Respect

In Sullivan Illinois, the residents have found a great way to honor their military residents serving in the US Armed Forces. When many were deployed to Afghanistan in 2004, the soldier’s names were nailed to lampposts. As more and more young people volunteered in Sullivan, population 4,400, the parents decided to keep up the tradition.

More than a hundred town residents have served abroad and dozens more will still deploy to either Iraq or Afghanistan.  Some names have hung more than once while spouses and siblings are displayed two to a post.

This is the town’s small, informal way of showing its respect to those members of the community who for the most part joined the military out of patriotism.

In Sullivan, the effort to support military personnel and their families includes churches, care package packing parties and coffee klatches. The wonderful thing here is the residents have taken their support an additional step by putting up the signs and honoring their military even further.

As we military family members know, support is imperative during deployment. It is hard for non-military people to understand the fear and helplessness when a loved one deploys for a war zone. The signs are a great way of reminding people on a daily basis that someone’s family member is in harm’s way and protecting each and every one of us.

Since my son will soon be deployed my need for support and understanding grows with each passing day. I think doing something like this in my hometown would be a great comfort to me. Maybe since this story is out other towns might want to do something like this too.

Some might worry about putting a loved one’s name on a sign in public. Let’s face it there are a few crazies out there. I suggest family members or the actual service member have the option of just using their first name. The whole world does not necessarily have to know the service member’s whole name and this might bring a little piece of mind to people who may be skeptical.

So I say spread the word and maybe this could grab some momentum and before we know it many towns and cities could be demonstrating yet one more way to say thank you to our brave military.

ProudMom3

Volunteer – how YOU can help.

I am really excited that we were able to complete our very first packaging yesterday evening with our Blue Star Mom Chapter. We had 26 boxes to send out to the Troops but it’s a start.  We also had 3 LARGE boxes to send over to Landstuhl  for our Wounded Warrior Project.  That, to me, was so wonderfully fulfilling.

Not everyone could be there, but helping us last night were most of our Moms, my other two sons plus two friends of one of them.  Yes, the friends were there initially for their own reasons (community service hours) but once we finished they had a new perspective.   They have asked to be included in future events like our care package boxing night because they had fun..  Before we began, I explained to them what we were doing, who it was for and why we were doing it.  One of them wasn’t sure about the wounded warrior items, what wounded, what did that mean, he asked.  We spoke about our soldiers who come off the battlefield, what happens, where they go.  As he began to comprehend and digest what he was being told, about what we were doing and why, he seemed to work a little harder and faster.  They hauled in supplies, donated by a local Girl Scout Troop and others.  They helped with the heavy stuff that we ladies couldn’t lift and once we were done, they loaded the boxes for mailing into the van for us too.  They even double checked the boxes before sealing them to ensure that everything fit right. They were smiling the whole time!  They drove away happy, uplifted and I’m sure that although they couldn’t really put any name to it, they just felt better.

What did it cost them?  Yes, they did benefit from their time but so did we, so will others.  If the gift of time is all they can afford to give, then I’ll take it!  Yes, we could use more items donated to send over to the Troops.  We could use assistance with our Veterans, with the families of the deployed whose homes are in disrepair, with the children of the deployed in coping with having a parent gone.  Each service organization reaching out to the community through any means possible can ensure that all who have never even thought of giving the gift of time is allowed a chance to do so. There are so many people who think they are alone, who need that extra encouraging smile, that nod to help them on their path.

What can we do to help?  I love those words!  By reaching out to the community we touch lives in a positive way, you never know how much of a difference you will make in the life of someone else.  So, yes, the homeboys will be back, and if you, your family or friends want to help  out, all you have to do is let me know (if you live in my area).

As I tell the recruiters, send me their Mothers and we will take care of them, and in doing so, we take care of the family.  If you don’t volunteer already, I am asking you to be a part of something bigger then yourself, be an active part of our Military Family and reach outside of your comfort zone. Veterans can volunteer in classrooms, be a volunteer reader at the library, help out with Boy Scouts or Cub Scouts or at the YMCA, check out your local police department and volunteer there to help the community.  The community can volunteer at a Veteran Hospital, or collect items to send to the Troops, have a yard sale and donate the proceeds, donate blood, whatever!  You will be happy you did.

Veterans: Just Can’t Catch a Break!

x-posted Some Soldier’s Mom

Deployment book – written by a Sarge!

A Department of Defense counselor, Sgt.  Marc CB Maxwell (whose  blog is here) has been counseling family members of deployed military for years.   He realized that many of us need a guide of some kind to get through deployments – and when he couldn’t find one, he decided to write one!   Surviving Military Separation – a 365 Day Activity Guide for the Families of Deployed Personnel is that book.  Talk about Military Ingenuity.. if you can’t buy one, make one!

Thanks to Andi at Spousebuzz (h/tip Andi!) I contacted Sgt.  Maxwell and asked him if this was directed only to spouses and children.   He has assured me that there is something here for everyone in  the family!

If you have this book, or if anyone in the family has one, let us know about it.

LAW

Coffins and media decision made

They Are Not Alone

As you all probably know, the SecDef has made his decision concerning the media access to coffins of the fallen coming into Dover AFB. The decision is that media will be allowed if the family requests it.

No matter how you or I feel about this (and I’m not going to put my opinion out here), this is now the way it is. Now there is paperwork that will be required, I’m sure there will be a form, and procedures and requirements etc. A question that is definitely out there – WHO is the one who will make that decision. Should it be the wife? the parents? the children (my son is an adult, and would put his 2 cents in). One commentor I saw suggested it should be up to the service member, that this should be something they decide.

As we’ve discussed before (well, I did the talking, hope you did the reading!) most of us have planned funerals for our service member. That’s one of those things that military families do that boggle the minds of the civilians. This is part of that planning. As a spouse, would I want my husband’s family to have any say in this decision? good question. As a mom, would I stand back and let my daughter in law make that decision, if I didn’t agree with it? another good one.

Do YOU guys have any answers? and if you want to let us know how you feel about the decision, feel free. Don’t forget, be polite!

LAW

Coffins, Photographs and the families rights

ParentsZone has always been fiercely apolitical, and will remain so. I don’t personally feel this is a totally political action or that it is strictly partisan.  This hits ALL of the military family equally, and there are a lot of questions that we are all asking.   The answers are not easy to find.  With this caveat:

As you may have read, the Secretary of Defense is reviewing the policy of taking photographs of coffins of the recently fallen soldiers from Iraq and Afghanistan arriving at Dover AFB. This is one of those subjects that makes those of us who have family members serving – think, twitch and wonder what would we do.

As Andi on SpouseBuzz said – we plan funerals, in our heads. Yes, I’ve planned my husband’s  (with no help from him, other than a request for Dixie played by bagpipes).  I planned my son’s too.  (the music for that one was difficult too)  I haven’t had to use those plans…and I haven’t thought about the media, other than to hope they will show some respect. That, unfortunately, isn’t what has happened at many funerals. I went to nine funerals last deployment, and the media held back – it could have been that Midwestern reticence, but I’ll figure it was the Patriot Guard!

So how do I feel about it? I don’t honestly know. I’ve read other blogs about it, I’ve always thought that maybe the other 99% of the US population should see the true cost of the war; not just the money, but the lives – the lives lost, the lives shattered, the lives of the children losing a parent, the parent losing a child,  the lives of the friends who mourn. But those same families and friends have the right to mourn in private, to survive the pain without cameras in their faces.

How do I feel? Confused. I know that I understand the families’ point of view that don’t want the pictures taken, I know I understand those that say these coffins, when they arrive, don’t have names on them that can be seen by photographers, that no-one is saying that they want to take pictures of widows and parents receiving the coffins, but is this the slippery slope we hear so much about? If we allow a photograph of a coffin on a plane floor, does that mean we will allow a picture of a woman kissing the coffin, of a child hugging the coffin holding her daddy?

And I want Secretary Gates to ask us. Not the Generals, not the under secretary of whatever, ask us. We are the ones who this will affect, we are the ones who live with this possibility. Please, tell me what you think.

LAW

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