Signs of Respect

In Sullivan Illinois, the residents have found a great way to honor their military residents serving in the US Armed Forces. When many were deployed to Afghanistan in 2004, the soldier’s names were nailed to lampposts. As more and more young people volunteered in Sullivan, population 4,400, the parents decided to keep up the tradition.

More than a hundred town residents have served abroad and dozens more will still deploy to either Iraq or Afghanistan.  Some names have hung more than once while spouses and siblings are displayed two to a post.

This is the town’s small, informal way of showing its respect to those members of the community who for the most part joined the military out of patriotism.

In Sullivan, the effort to support military personnel and their families includes churches, care package packing parties and coffee klatches. The wonderful thing here is the residents have taken their support an additional step by putting up the signs and honoring their military even further.

As we military family members know, support is imperative during deployment. It is hard for non-military people to understand the fear and helplessness when a loved one deploys for a war zone. The signs are a great way of reminding people on a daily basis that someone’s family member is in harm’s way and protecting each and every one of us.

Since my son will soon be deployed my need for support and understanding grows with each passing day. I think doing something like this in my hometown would be a great comfort to me. Maybe since this story is out other towns might want to do something like this too.

Some might worry about putting a loved one’s name on a sign in public. Let’s face it there are a few crazies out there. I suggest family members or the actual service member have the option of just using their first name. The whole world does not necessarily have to know the service member’s whole name and this might bring a little piece of mind to people who may be skeptical.

So I say spread the word and maybe this could grab some momentum and before we know it many towns and cities could be demonstrating yet one more way to say thank you to our brave military.


Volunteer – how YOU can help.

I am really excited that we were able to complete our very first packaging yesterday evening with our Blue Star Mom Chapter. We had 26 boxes to send out to the Troops but it’s a start.  We also had 3 LARGE boxes to send over to Landstuhl  for our Wounded Warrior Project.  That, to me, was so wonderfully fulfilling.

Not everyone could be there, but helping us last night were most of our Moms, my other two sons plus two friends of one of them.  Yes, the friends were there initially for their own reasons (community service hours) but once we finished they had a new perspective.   They have asked to be included in future events like our care package boxing night because they had fun..  Before we began, I explained to them what we were doing, who it was for and why we were doing it.  One of them wasn’t sure about the wounded warrior items, what wounded, what did that mean, he asked.  We spoke about our soldiers who come off the battlefield, what happens, where they go.  As he began to comprehend and digest what he was being told, about what we were doing and why, he seemed to work a little harder and faster.  They hauled in supplies, donated by a local Girl Scout Troop and others.  They helped with the heavy stuff that we ladies couldn’t lift and once we were done, they loaded the boxes for mailing into the van for us too.  They even double checked the boxes before sealing them to ensure that everything fit right. They were smiling the whole time!  They drove away happy, uplifted and I’m sure that although they couldn’t really put any name to it, they just felt better.

What did it cost them?  Yes, they did benefit from their time but so did we, so will others.  If the gift of time is all they can afford to give, then I’ll take it!  Yes, we could use more items donated to send over to the Troops.  We could use assistance with our Veterans, with the families of the deployed whose homes are in disrepair, with the children of the deployed in coping with having a parent gone.  Each service organization reaching out to the community through any means possible can ensure that all who have never even thought of giving the gift of time is allowed a chance to do so. There are so many people who think they are alone, who need that extra encouraging smile, that nod to help them on their path.

What can we do to help?  I love those words!  By reaching out to the community we touch lives in a positive way, you never know how much of a difference you will make in the life of someone else.  So, yes, the homeboys will be back, and if you, your family or friends want to help  out, all you have to do is let me know (if you live in my area).

As I tell the recruiters, send me their Mothers and we will take care of them, and in doing so, we take care of the family.  If you don’t volunteer already, I am asking you to be a part of something bigger then yourself, be an active part of our Military Family and reach outside of your comfort zone. Veterans can volunteer in classrooms, be a volunteer reader at the library, help out with Boy Scouts or Cub Scouts or at the YMCA, check out your local police department and volunteer there to help the community.  The community can volunteer at a Veteran Hospital, or collect items to send to the Troops, have a yard sale and donate the proceeds, donate blood, whatever!  You will be happy you did.

If you know an organization who needs volunteers, or an upcoming event like Mamaw’s – let us know.  We’ll advertise it.

Veterans: Just Can’t Catch a Break!

For some of you who may not read my blog “Some Soldier’s Mom”, we have a son who was wounded in Iraq in 2005; he had head, neck & spinal injuries, TBI, hearing loss, retained shrapnel (from double digit IEDs and one whalapalooza VBIED during OIF3) and was medically discharged in 2006 for severe and chronic PTSD. He is newly divorced and has custody of his 15-month old son. We also have an older son who is in his 13th year in the Navy and another son who served in the Navy, and my husband is a retired career Navy aviator & Public Affairs Officer… so just so we’re clear: I ain’t whining. I’m complaining.

Thanks to some mighty good and generous friends from Fort Benning who paid his expenses, Noah is currently away on his first vacation since he was wounded in 2005 and was medically discharged (we won’t count his mid-Iraq tour R&R and his 30-day convalescent leave after he was wounded) and he hasn’t seen his mail in the past 3 days. Really. This poor kid just can’t catch a break.

As this recent post illustrates, he has been busting his a$$ since the day he left the Army. He arrived here in AZ on a Friday and began his classes in Fire Science on Monday. He certified as an EMT within 6 months of leaving the service, has completed the basic and advanced Wildfire Academy, completed the seriously rigorous Firefighter Academy, as well as classes in fire codes, inspections, hazardous materials, fire management, business management, and many others. He currently has a 3.85 GPA. He tried to find a job (any job) to supplement his VA disability allowance, but what few jobs were/are available, could not (or would not) accommodate his class schedule — which is inflexible because the classes in his degree program are offered progressively, i.e., one class is offered one semester and the follow-on class offered the next, then the next. If you opt not to take a class this semester, it’s not offered again for 2 or 3 semesters AND you’re then ineligible for the follow-on class. Since this degree program is not only geared to those seeking a first-time career, but also to those already working as firefighters and to those working in some other field but wanting to change careers, many of the classes are late afternoon/night classes (longer classes– fewer days) or every weekend for say 10 weekends.

For the past 18 months, Noah has attended school full time, has almost full time hours as a student intern at the Veterans’ Center, PLUS he is a single Dad with custody of his fifteen-month old son. He also attends regular counseling sessions. He has a lot on his plate for a 23 year old. Hell, for a man of any age!

So here’s what has come in the mail since he left to relax a few days ago:

Even though Noah has had his son living with him for almost a year, it was considered “informal” because there was no court decree. Prior to his divorce being final, he and his (ex-)wife received a subsidy from the state for child care which enabled her to work full time and Noah to attend school and work. When custody was formally granted to Noah, he went to the Department of Economic Security and asked that the subsidy paper work be put in his name and he gave them a copy of his divorce decree — only to learn that the State of AZ considered that a whole new application for a subsidy which, because of the budget deficit in this state, are frozen, and his “new” application WAS DENIED. There was no arguing with these people that nothing had changed except the formality of the baby’s custody. If Noah wants to keep his son in the licensed child care center, it will cost Noah an additional $400-$500 per month!!

Next, he applied for health insurance through the State because he has no real income and (as I wrote here) he has no health coverage (the VA only covers his service-connected conditions):

Veterans of the current conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan who are medically unable to continue in the service but receive less than a 10% disability from their service branch, receive no medical insurance once they separate. For those with service-connected disability ratings of 10 or 20% (ratings are 0% or greater in 10% increments), they receive UP TO 12 months of medical insurance (Tricare) for themselves and their families after separation; for 10% and 20% ratings it is typically 6 months but can be 9 or 12 months depending on the medical condition. If a service member receives a disability rating of 30% or greater from the service branch (a medical retirement), medical insurance for themselves and their families continue at no cost to them FOR LIFE.

Remember: 90% of Soldiers, 83% of Marines, 73% of Airmen and 64% of Sailors who were injured, wounded or became chronically ill while in the service received a disability rating of 20% or less. Unless they were covered by an employer or can afford other insurance within say 6-9 months after their discharge, they and their families have no health insurance coverage.

Although the case worker told Noah that they do not count disability allowances as “income” for purposes of the “how poor are you?” test, they DID, in fact, count his VA disability and — you guessed it — his application for health insurance WAS DENIED. (He has already been turned down by other private insurers because he has too many combat-connected injuries/conditions — and he can’t afford those premiums any way!)

Next, Noah had applied through USAA (I’m not even linking them!!) for some life insurance because, well, he is a responsible parent (and a great Dad, I might add), and he wanted to be sure that his son would be provided for if anything were to happen to Noah. Now, USAA is a membership association and the single requirement for membership is that you (or a close family member) are or have been a member of the Armed Forces of the United States of America — active, Guard, Reserve. Now my DH has been a member since the 60’s and our children have been members since they got driver’s licenses — before any of the sons even entered the services. Today he received a letter saying that his application for life insurance WAS DENIED BASED ON HIS HISTORY OF (symptoms associated with) PTSD ??

WHAT THE HELL??!! This country has sent more than 1.7 million men and women to war over the past 8 years and as many as 20% of these men and women will suffer symptoms of post-traumatic stress and many of those will develop post-traumatic stress disorder/syndrome. This is a business organization who states its mission is “to facilitate the financial security of its members, associates, and their families through provision of a full range of… products and services;” and “to be the provider of choice for the military community”??? Well, USAA, in this regard you are doing a piss poor job of meeting those needs. Will this be just one more reason NOT to seek treatment for the invisible wounds of war?? I’m trying to figure out how they justify this — if they’re wary of say, suicide, don’t most insurance policies limit benefits within 2 years (or some period) or say that benefits won’t be paid in the event of suicide??

Golly gee!! I can’t wait to see what comes in the mail for him tomorrow!! Seriously, I can’t imagine Noah coming home to these things… He just can’t seem to catch a break. And I’d venture to say he’s not the only young OIF/OEF veteran facing such obstacles. (See HERE, for example.)

Doesn’t all this just suck?? As a parent, I am frustrated and angry beyond measure! Already veterans and veterans organizations have had to rant and rail against the new administration to turn them from their proposal of having combat-wounded veterans pay for their care with their own private insurance (if & when they have it). I ask — as I have asked before — IS THIS HOW WE TREAT OUR WOUNDED?? IS THIS HOW WE TREAT OUR VETERANS??? Why would any parent now consider encouraging their child to enlist if it means that they will have to fight and claw for any and every benefit they have EARNED or have to fight against discrimination and reprisal for having served their country and been wounded in that endeavor?? Really. Why would anyone volunteer for that??


x-posted Some Soldier’s Mom

Deployment book – written by a Sarge!

A Department of Defense counselor, Sgt.  Marc CB Maxwell (whose  blog is here) has been counseling family members of deployed military for years.   He realized that many of us need a guide of some kind to get through deployments – and when he couldn’t find one, he decided to write one!   Surviving Military Separation – a 365 Day Activity Guide for the Families of Deployed Personnel is that book.  Talk about Military Ingenuity.. if you can’t buy one, make one!

Thanks to Andi at Spousebuzz (h/tip Andi!) I contacted Sgt.  Maxwell and asked him if this was directed only to spouses and children.   He has assured me that there is something here for everyone in  the family!

If you have this book, or if anyone in the family has one, let us know about it.


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