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The Targets
As parents, we all worry about our children. Worry is something that starts long before our children are born. Then we realize the worry will never end. As parents of military members, we share another fear. Fear, we dread hearing the words, “Mom, Dad. I will be deploying on….” Those words pull on our heart even more because we know they will intentionally be in harm’s way.
What we try not to fear is when they are stateside on a base or post. The murderer of 12 soldiers and 1 police officer on Fort Hood came as such a shock. Were they not supposed to be safe?
When my son deployed this fall on a naval ship I knew in my mind that all would probably be well. However, to be honest watching that ship sink smaller into the horizon left me with a pit in my stomach. I wanted to jump in the ocean and bring him back. I think about him every night before I go to sleep. I wonder where he is. I wonder if he will be safe while in port. No, I am sure I do not have the same fear as a mother of a service member in Afghanistan or Iraq, but fear is still fear.
When my son came home from boot camp, he told me that he is not allowed to travel in uniform. Why? Beause he is a target. A target? My Son?
Last week we found out just how much of a target our children are. It is shameful, but real. It is why I lay awake at night.
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They didn’t have Facebook.
I was just thinking the other day about how lucky we are as parents of deployed children to be able to communicate with them during deployment. Do not get me wrong. It is still very hard to sleep with the phone, check email countless times and yes, I am sure we all know what it is like to “stalk” the mailman.
I recently spoke with some Patriot Guard friends who lived through the Vietnam area. They reminded me to be thankful for communication we enjoy these days as they like their counterparts in WWII and other previous wars had rely on a written letter. Skype was far from being a possibility in those days.
Now, we also have the overwhelming influence of Social Networking sights. I can hardly believe I can logon to FaceBook everyday and see pictures posting from the ship. Not to mention the Capt of the ship occasionally will post updates. I search Twitter everyday for info and I have been able to connect with other families with loved ones on this ship. Why, I almost set my 80-year-mother on FaceBook. She declined and just decided to follow the Shutterfly site I have set up where I add all the news stories and pictures I find concerning the deployment.
I saw a tweet from a pregnant wife appealing to the ship to contact her deployed sailor because she is ready to give birth and her husband had not called since the ship sailed. Unbelievably, the ship replied and told her to email privately and the contact person on the ship said he would see what he could do. That did not happen in previous conflicts.
The point is that even though it is still very hard for us to sit and wait, nearly shower with the phone, exhaust every search phrase on Google and make the mailman want to change routes, we are very lucky and blessed. We are all in the boat together as were all the parents, wives, children…before us.
Honor and Remember
I recently heard about an organization that is trying to establish a national symbol of gratitude to fallen military members along with providing a visible reminder to all Americans. That symbol will be a flag that honors all who have given their life in defense of our freedom.
Honorandremember.org has designed the flag with a gold star upon which is an eternal flame on a red and white background. Printed on the flag are the words, Honor and Remember. The flags are available for purchase through Honorandremember.org. They come in two sizes and you can choose between a screen printed flag or a hand-stitched appliquéd flag. There are even motorcycle flags for all you bikers out there!
Congressman Randy Forbes from Virginia introduced HR 1034, a bill to make this flag a national symbol. You can help buy signing the petition on Honorandremember.org. The United States does not have a nation symbol that honors the sacrifice made by the men and women who gallantly defend our country.
American Gold Star Mothers, Inc., the Veterans of Foreign Wars, the Fleet Reserve Association, the Military Officers Association of America, the Air Force Security Forces Association, and the Naval Reserve Association currently endorse the Honor and Remember flag.
By signing the petition you are helping in the movement to have the flag congressionally and militarily sanctioned as a permanent symbol to fly continuously in eternal honor and remembrance of all fallen military service men and women.
I think this is a wonderful idea, as we cannot do enough to honor those who made a commitment to everyone of us. Please go sign the petition and give this gift to our heroes and their families. In honor, they served. In honor, they sacrificed. Let us never forget them.
Proud Mom 3
Sorrow for our PZ Family
ProudMom3 lost a grandchild this week. Please keep her, and her family, in your thoughts and prayers. Julie – we all send our condolences and love.
LAW
Signs of Respect
In Sullivan Illinois, the residents have found a great way to honor their military residents serving in the US Armed Forces. When many were deployed to Afghanistan in 2004, the soldier’s names were nailed to lampposts. As more and more young people volunteered in Sullivan, population 4,400, the parents decided to keep up the tradition.
More than a hundred town residents have served abroad and dozens more will still deploy to either Iraq or Afghanistan. Some names have hung more than once while spouses and siblings are displayed two to a post.
This is the town’s small, informal way of showing its respect to those members of the community who for the most part joined the military out of patriotism.
In Sullivan, the effort to support military personnel and their families includes churches, care package packing parties and coffee klatches. The wonderful thing here is the residents have taken their support an additional step by putting up the signs and honoring their military even further.
As we military family members know, support is imperative during deployment. It is hard for non-military people to understand the fear and helplessness when a loved one deploys for a war zone. The signs are a great way of reminding people on a daily basis that someone’s family member is in harm’s way and protecting each and every one of us.
Since my son will soon be deployed my need for support and understanding grows with each passing day. I think doing something like this in my hometown would be a great comfort to me. Maybe since this story is out other towns might want to do something like this too.
Some might worry about putting a loved one’s name on a sign in public. Let’s face it there are a few crazies out there. I suggest family members or the actual service member have the option of just using their first name. The whole world does not necessarily have to know the service member’s whole name and this might bring a little piece of mind to people who may be skeptical.
So I say spread the word and maybe this could grab some momentum and before we know it many towns and cities could be demonstrating yet one more way to say thank you to our brave military.
ProudMom3
A Mother’s Silent Scream: Coping with Impending Deployment
My son, LCpl Honda is set to deploy to the Sandbox later this year. It is still a few months off so I decided I just cannot freak out and go out of my mind with worry just yet. Nevertheless, I have to admit that each day that comes to pass, I feel a scream welling up inside of me. I know that this is probably normal and I know that I am not alone in feeling this way.
When my nephew, Cpl Red went on his first deployment I watched my sister, Crafty go through this process. I was with her when she had to say goodbye as his unit left. That experience is forever stamped in my memory. I watched other parents, wives, girlfriends and children say goodbye to their loved ones. I saw the look on their faces. I came home and told my mom, “I don’t want to ever have to do this again.” However, in my heart I knew I would.
I remember when I was very young and Vietnam ended. I naively thought that there would not really be any more wars. Why? I guess because I was young and not very informed about the way of the world. I never ever thought that a child of mine might have to go off to combat. I think after 9/11 that changed. With my daughter, Cinderella, who was active duty army at the time, for the first time ever, I felt the fear that I feel now.
I have only told family about LCpl Honda’s deployment. I cannot bear to divulge this information to other friends and co-workers just yet. LCpl Honda worked at the same place I worked before going off to boot camp. So everyone there likes him and knows him well. I just cannot bear the sympatric looks that I know will come. Please do not get me wrong. I know people mean well, but non-military families just do not have the understanding. It is not their fault. They are just not in the situation.
I have also found that I purposely do not do things like watch war movies. My husband wanted to watch ‘Saving Private Ryan’ this past weekend. I could not do it. HBO is replaying ‘Taking Chance’ at the end of the month. It is about a fallen Marine being escorted home. I plan to record it, but I do not think I will watch it until this deployment is over and my son and nephew are home safe.
I am not sure how well I will cope in the days ahead, but I will at least try to “soldier on” and if anybody asks, I will just reply with, “Good to go.”
ProudMom3
Marine Corps – Making Warriors
Predeployment Training: Making Warriors
LCpl Honda is currently training for an upcoming deployment. Since I am always interested in what he is doing, I decided to ask him some questions and get his take on the training he is receiving.
Predeployment training is very intense and designed to teach the Marines what conditions could arise on a combat deployment. Marines train in realistic towns with actual Iraqi people playing citizens and terrorists alike. These “actors” prepare the Marines to react a certain way when they are deployed to places like Iraq and Afghanistan. It is vital that the Marines learn how to interact and in turn to watch reactions of the people playing these parts in order to ensure the most utmost safety conditions.
Marines learn how to conduct raids under live fire-like conditions. They learn the safest ways of securing a town or building. One technique is using buddy rushing by running and covering each other while advancing on a target. A squad may start out together but end split up into two “buddies” teams.
Jumping out of helicopters is another vital training exercise because that might be the only means of getting the Marines to a location. Marines are trained to slide down a fast rope and be able to land without injuring themselves on the ground. They are instructed on how to deal with the rotor wash air coming down from the rotors and the brown out dirt that is kicked up from the ground. LCpl Honda says that the instructors are very good at helping the Marines to jump successfully.
LCpl Honda says that the most important thing about the training is working together. This has been emphasized since the Marines were recruits in Boot Camp. “You have to look out for the guy next to you and he has the do the same.” said LCpl Honda. The training is really a dress rehearsal for the actual theater.
The Marines have no idea what will happen during training. There could be a riot, a sniper on a roof or terrorist hold up in a building. The element of surprise prepares them to expect anything during deployment. Better to make a mistake during training than during actual combat situations.
I asked LCpl Honda if he felt he was ready for deployment. “Well,” he said, “I am not through with training yet so not quite.” but he continued, “I will be.” He also said that most of the Marines feel the same way as him.
He closed with, “We get the best training possible.” and more importantly, he added, “Our leaders and instructors prepare all of us to come home.”
Proud Mom 3
We will all keep LCpl Honda in our thoughts that he comes home safely. LAW
My Daughter, My Soldier
When my daughter Cinderella came to me shortly after graduating high school and said she was going to join the Army I was only a little surprised. A few years prior as we sat in a high school gym watching her brother LCpl Honda compete in wrestling she turned to me and said, “I am going to do that next year mom.” I thought, well ok. Needless to say she made good on her comment and even went on to pin a few boys during her wrestling career.
The day came and she left for boot camp and never looked back. Her reasons for joining were she did not really want to attend college right away because she was concerned about finances and knew she would probably be able to attain a better education after serving with her GI Bill.
Her goals were to do the best job for her country. Now this was pre 9/11 when people were not receiving the accolades for joining and serving that they do today. Not that we were not proud, but I for one was naive thinking the world would remain calm and war was not a possibility in the near future. Boy was I wrong.
Cinderella says like any other job there are pros and cons. She cites job security, guaranteed paycheck, free health and dental insurance as pros for joining the military. For Cinderella the honor of serving her country was by far the biggest pro. She didn’t cite two many cons but did say that nobody likes their job all the time and there were times she had rough days. She said it was tough working long hours on four hours of sleep but understood the job requirements.
Cinderella left the military because she had a young daughter at the time and thought it best to be a full-time mother to her. Would she join again? “In a minute!” she said. But Cinderella has chosen motherhood first. I have to agree with that decision.
Although she would still like to serve she has taken away a lifetime of experiences that a lot of people can’t say they have. Cinderella spent three and a half years active duty as an MP attaining the rank of specialist in the US Army and one year as a specialist in the Army National Guard.
Thank you for your service Spec. Cinderella. We are proud of you!
9/11: Cinderella Lost a Shoe and LCpl Honda Lost a Birthday
Like most Americans I remember what I was doing on September 1, 2001. Just like I remember what I was doing when John F. Kennedy was assassinated and later when the space shuttle exploded. Both events were momumental in my life but 9/11 stands out the most for me.
There are two reasons for this. On that day in 2001 my daughter, Cinderella was serving our nation as an MP in the United States Army. Not long after Cinderella graduated from high school she informed us she wanted to join the Army. It didn’t really surprise me because she is not your average girl. She made the boy’s wrestling team in high school after watching her older brother LCpl Honda wrestle. She turned to me at her brother’s first match and said, “I am going to do that next year Mom.” Ah ok, I said. Well she made good on that statement and managed to pin a few boys along the way. So joining the Army made sense.
The second reason this date will live in my infamy forever is my son. LCpl Honda was born on September 11th. This was part of the reason he joined the Marines. His birthday is forever ruined by the fact that over 3,000 people lost their lives and our American world was forever changed.
So on that date like a lot of people I was getting ready for work and sort of half paying attention to the news. I remember seeing the reports of a plane hitting the first tower and not thinking too much of it until I saw the second plane hit the second tower. At that point I knew something was very wrong. I called to my youngest son, Hippy Guy, a teenager at the time, who was getting ready for school “I think we are being attacked.” I said. We then watched in horror as the first tower fell followed by the second tower. We were transfixed by the events unfolding but still went through the motions of preparing to go to work and school.
I was so overwhelmed by the events that I just did not realize the implications of what I had just witnessed. It wasn’t until I got to work that I feared for what was going to happen. I knew there were going to be implications and I was afraid my daughter would be caught up in it. So after I got to work I put in a call to my mother and asked her to call Cinderella and see what if anything was happening. At that time I did not have a cell phone so being at work I could only have minimal contact with my family. My mom tried all day and could not contact Cinderella and I continued to try and contact her when I returned from work. I remember having an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. Cinderella had just given birth to my grandaughter Butterfly in June of that year and I was the person designated to take Butterfly in the event of a deployment. My mom and I made some tentative plans to go get Butterfly if that became necessary.
Finally about 8:00 o’clock that night I heard from Cinderella. She did not know much. She had been on lock down at her post but finally was released to go home and pick up Butterfly from her babysitter. She told me to sit tight and would let me know if I needed to come. Well, we all know the rest of this history. Needless to say she did not get deployed and in the early winter months of the next year Cinderella left the army and she and Butterfly came home. But the fear I felt that day still lives inside of me.
As far as LCpl Honda is concerned, we did not celebrate his birthday that day. We finally did a couple of weeks later but it was not your normal celebration. LCpl Honda still to this day is not really interested in celebrating his birthday. His only comment is, “I joined the Marines so that nobody else will have their birthday ruined.” I think that comment speaks for itself.
He has yet to be deployed and that is not for lack of trying. My nephew Cpl Red is currently on his second deployment to Iraq. As of today, LCpl Honda has volunteered to go with a unit that will be deployed to Afghanistan. Nothing is set in stone yet. As for me, I just sit and wait. Hurry up and wait. Semper Gumby.
Another New Author – ProudMom3
Ladies and Gentlemen – it is a great honour to introduce another new author – ProudMom3! She has – big surprise- 3 children. One is presently serving as a Marine and was here in DC at the Marine Barracks – marched in many ceremonial events and is now awaiting orders for either an IA or MEU – Mom is waiting (sounds familiar!) Her daughter was an Army MP – during 9/11, and we are looking forward to her input on how that felt. Her third child is a civilian and about to become a dad. PM3 has 2 grandchildren already. She lives in the desert Southwest, who just built a house and is busy moving in and decorating.
We are proud to have her on board – please welcome our Marine/Army mom!
LAW
