In America Thanksgiving is a time of gathering with family and reflecting on all we have in our lives. Even though your soldier might not be able to be present for the celebration, you can include him and help you and your children feel connected to him during this holiday season.

Cornucopia of Blessings

Take an empty wicker or other decorative cornucopia, a symbol of overflowing bounty, and place it in a central location in the home. Several weeks before Thanksgiving, take time each day to write with your children one thing they are thankful for and place this note in the cornucopia. Use orange, yellow, and red pieces of paper, and fold them to give them depth before you place them in the cornucopia. By Thanksgiving you should have visible evidence of all of the wonderful things in your life. At dinner, read these aloud among whomever is there, then take them and create a scrapbook of thanks for your soldier and send the book as a wonderful reminder of the love waiting back home.

Turkey Cookies

You can’t easily send mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie in a box overseas, but you can still send some holiday treats to your soldier. Use your regular sugar cookie dough recipe, divided into two, and add just enough food coloring to each batch to make one yellow and the other orange. Roll out the dough and use turkey shaped cookie cutters. Have your kids help you decorate them with fall colored sprinkles, and then send a sweet treat to your soldier. If you have teens or tweens, consider letting them have a baking party where they can invite friends over to make and decorate the cookies, and have enough to share with neighbors or send to other soldiers.

Birthdays – Gotta Have ‘Em

For your soldier’s birthday, send a care package that the kids help create. You can include the usual birthday cards, but add in there some unique surprises such as trick candles, a roll of streamers, balloons, and a list of all the things you love about your soldier – the number should match the age the birthday brings. You could even opt to send a clue as to what the birthday gift waiting at home is, but keep the actual gift at home, creating anticipation your child can get excited about with this fun secret.

If your soldier is missing the birthday of your child and that is causing sadness, you can plan ahead and have your soldier pick a special gift to give your child. Have the gift wrapped and with a card from your soldier. It could even be the first gift of the day, or a special token left on a pillow just before bed time. Your soldier could record herself singing Happy Birthday and either send it to you online or on a flash drive to play for your child. Take two pieces of birthday cake, one each for your child and your soldier, and borrow a tradition from weddings and place the cake in the freezer to be shared when your soldier returns.

No matter what the holiday, celebration, or special event is, it is important to make sure you don’t put your lives on pause while your soldier is deployed. For children this matters even more. The younger they are the more their memories will be shadowed by emotions. Do what you can to make sure that those special times are celebrated when your soldier is deployed, but include your soldier in little ways to bring all of you closer.

For the first installment of this two part series, see Creative Ways to Celebrate Holidays During Your Soldier’s Deployment (Part 1!)

Photo credit: Adrian

A glass that is half-full is capable of sharing, providing, and giving. Optimism is not only something that can put smiles on faces, but it is something that can make families healthier and stronger. It is imperative that families surround themselves with others who have glasses full enough to give to others, and they will find themselves with lives that are overflowing with positive support.

When it comes to difficult times in our lives, such as when loved ones are deployed overseas, the company we keep at home can be extremely influential, and not always in a good way. No matter which path we find ourselves on as siblings, parents, or friends of soldiers, we need to make sure that we are bringing people into our lives who can lift us up with their words and actions, and to whom we can provide the same sort of positive energy.

How to Know if Someone is Spilling Your Glass of Optimism

Military families need all of the support they can get. The trick is to make sure that they type of support is positive and optimistic. It is all too easy when there is instant access through media to a tragedy overseas to assume the worst for loved ones. If we surround ourselves with friends who tend to let emotions run high and get worked up easily, we can fall into those traps as well. These situations can suck the energy and common sense right out of us.

Look for these signs of relationships that spill your glass:

1. The first reaction is likely negative.

2. The person tends to jump to conclusions easily.

3. If you are concerned and go to this person with your concerns, she builds on those with her own worries.

4. When you have a positive experience, such as a phone call from your soldier, this person diminishes your joy, perhaps by complaining she hasn’t received her own, instead of sharing in your joy.

5. Your own sense of security, well-being, and peacefulness is not increased by this relationship.

Relationships that display these signs can make your efforts to lead a less stressful life while your soldier is serving overseas more difficult. These people can be in your life through personal contacts in your neighborhood, other family members, or even online forums. In order to combat the Negative Nelly in the crowd, keep your distance when there are extreme emotions, no matter if the emotions are sadness or elation. Seek the companionship of others who can help you find a positive balance and see things clearly for what they really are. When loved ones are serving overseas it can be too easy to jump on board with Negative Nelly when you are feeling down. Be careful to search for a more positive relationship so that you can keep afloat through turbulent times and rejoice in the good.

Photo credit: Kalyan

Throughout the course of our lifetimes, we make and break bonds with people. Some bonds are formed in friendship: schoolmates, neighbors, fellow workers. I have close friends from each of those groups. I maintain, however, that the bonds forged in military service are perhaps the strongest of all bonds. Stronger than steel. Stronger than adversity. Stronger than time.

We all know the story of veterans sittin’ around and one says, “No shit!! There I was…” followed by a story of improbability or hilarity, typically punctuated with profanity, irreverent phrases and sordid images. It will end with much backslapping and hearty handshakes. The circle might contain members of a single unit or a single war, or it might contain an assortment of veterans from many of this nation’s conflicts. But they are bonded and tied to each other by the commonality of their service. Some are bonded by the mettle and the blood of battle. You need look no further than the Illiad or the St. Crispen’s Day speech from Shakespeare’s Henry V for evidence of the emotional connection these men share.

[snip]

Some of my closest friends today are people I didn’t know before my son deployed. We met via military blogs (including my own) and private online Internet forums established by parents of soldiers — one by a Third Infantry Division parent, another established by military moms for military moms. These were places to share information, to share worry, to celebrate good news and to commiserate when the news was bad. These were places that let us share this bond, hammered and shaped by our worry for our sons and daughters.

These relationships are equal parts ethereal and practical; as much emotional as they are physical. It involves both the spiritual and the material worlds — prayers and novena candles as well as care packages and cookie recipes. It is an inclusive sisterhood for which we did not volunteer, but in which we are now forever members.

You can read it all at PBS/POV: Conversations on Coming Home

On Fridays, if you look around, you’ll see a lot of people wearing red – some of us wear it as a tribute to wounded warriors, some for deployed servicemembers, and today – it’s for Fort Hood. The USO has been working with the Community at Hood, and this Friday, December 11, Fort Hood and the USO – with the support of Fort Hood FMWR and AAFES – is proud to host “Fort Hood Community Strong,” a day for healing, fun and entertainment. Held at Hood Stadium, this event will feature free carnival rides, games, food and top-notch celebrity performers. The biggest gift we can give the community, however, is to honor them with our sincere thanks and support.

Since the November 5 shooting, the USO has stepped up to provide support for the community in any way they can. From grief counseling to the two Mobile USO units providing meals – the USO has been ready to assist the troops, families and command at Fort Hood however needed.

We need to take time to support that Community, to support our military family. There are so many who need that support, who are having their own quiet crisis, and need that shoulder to lean on, that ear to listen, that hand to hold. If you can’t be there in person for someone, if you aren’t near Hood or another base, if you can’t physically do it, there are so many groups that are trying to do this. Find one, and tell US about it.

There’s a Wall of Remembrance from the USO, a place to put down in a few words a thank you, show support for Hood and the rest of our military family.

This post was created as part of the USO’s Community Strong event at Fort Hood –a day for healing, fun and entertainment to uplift the spirits of the Fort Hood community in the wake of the Nov. 5 shooting incident. You can help show your support for Fort Hood and its more than 349,000 military personnel, family members, retirees and civilian employees by visiting the Community Strong website, Tweeting your support with the #CommunityStrong hashtag, leaving comments on the Official USO Blog and donating to the USO’s ongoing efforts to support our troops.

http://www.welcomebackveterans.org/thanks

What is it?

Soldiers, veterans and survivors of those whose service was involuntarily extended under Stop Loss between September 11, 2001 and September 30, 2008 can apply to receive $500 for every month, or portion of a month, they served under Stop Loss. The 2009 War Supplemental Appropriations Act established and largely funded the payment for all military services, but dictated that each service process and pay their own applicants. The Army estimates that 136,000 of the approximately 174,000 eligible servicemembers served in the Army.

What has the Army done?

The Army has created an application process for active-and-reserve component Soldiers, veterans, and survivors of Soldiers to process claims for Retroactive Stop Loss Special Pay. By law, the Army can only accept claims between October 21, 2009 and October 21, 2010. Eligible candidates must submit their request within this time frame, or the Army will not be able to process their request. The Army has set up an email address to field questions people have regarding the benefit.

How can people apply?

Candidates for Retroactive Stop Loss Special Pay must submit a claim at Retroactive Stop Loss Web site . This Web site is the preferred method for submitting applications; however, other means for doing so, such as by mail or fax, will be available to those without access to computers. Additional communications will provide instructions for alternative forms of submission. During the application process, candidates will be asked to show documentation that indicates the time they served under Stop Loss. The necessary documentation, depending on their type of service, includes the following:

What continued efforts does the Army have planned for the future?

The Army will review, process and pay qualified candidates as they submit their applications at Retroactive Stop Loss Web site. Candidates who meet the criteria and show the required documentation will receive their retroactive payment in a one lump sum. The Army will not accept applications submitted after October 21, 2010.

Resources: Retroactive Stop Loss Web site ]]> http://parentszone.org/2009/10/20/retroactive-stop-loss-special-pay/feed/ 11 http://parentszone.org/2009/10/19/heroes-at-home-wish-registry/ http://parentszone.org/2009/10/19/heroes-at-home-wish-registry/#comments Mon, 19 Oct 2009 18:04:31 +0000 http://parentszone.org/?p=785 Sears invites all active military members to register for the Sears Heroes at Home Wish Registry program. The Heroes at Home Wish Registry allows America to thank our military heroes and their families by donating to the program. All donations will be evenly distributed in the form of Sears gift cards amongst all military families and members accepted into the program. Registration will be open between 8:00AM CT – 6:00PM CT each day, so register and review program details at www.sears.com/wish today.

Since beginning a new chapter of Blue Star Moms in February of this year, I have learned a lot.  We have, as a group, done quite a bit, accomplished more in the past six months then some people do in a year.  The support from local communities has been steadily advancing and I am amazed at the generousity of so many.

We recently had our second shipment of Care Packages go out.  This time, we were able to send 55 packages to the deployed.  The first time is was 22 to deployed Troops and 2 large boxes to the hospital overseas for our wounded.  It may not seem like much in comparison to other groups who have been around longer but we are slowly spreading the word that there are needs that we, here at home, take for granted, that are not available to our Troops who are away from home.

Many are aware of our Troops being “down the road” but are unaware that many are still in the “sandbox” and that amazes me.  I even had one woman ask me why we would send care packages to the sandbox when none of our Troops were there?  Hello….Does no one watch the news or read the newspapers any more?  I explained our mission and our goal so that she finally understood and she has now volunteered her services and that of several friends to help with our next packaging.  YEA!!

So let me share what happened with our last packaging.  One of our Moms has a son serving down the road and he had emailed her with an emergency listing of his Unit’s needs. Just 9 young men, not a tall order for us at all.  Basically they were sharing deoderant, as many had run out, had several who never receive anything from home and their room was smelling a bit gamey (I won’t write what he said it actually smelled like-it was very much a guy comment though).  smile….

We ended up putting out a call to those who are affiliated with us and the items began pouring in!  Soap, toothpaste, Febreze, snacks, shampoo, body wash, M&M’s (a special request), amongst other items.  We had calendars donated from a local Hooter’s, DVDs, CDs, books, games and postcards written by many attendees of different events that we collect as we attend.  Those items were sent over the day after the packaging but not soon enough.  Two of the men in his Unit were unable to enjoy these small bits of home as they did not make it back from a firefight.  Another, the M&M requestor, grabbed the extra large bag of M&M’s, went to a corner, sat back and ate the entire bag by himself.  He couldn’t get enough of home and the memories this small candy snack brought to him.  This made me laugh and cry at the same time.  He is only 18 years old and does not receive much, this was the least we could do.  He is younger then my youngest son….

The smiles we were able to help create will be a part of us forever, the tears we shed when we receive the pictures back of them smiling with their packages, for the looks on their faces, fall silently and they will never see them rolling down our cheeks.

I sent my son homemade chocolate chip cookies and promised some to another soldier serving in the sandbox.  I sent her those as a special treat, from me, Mamaw.  I also sent over Cracker Jacks and sunscreen, she looked a little red in her recent photos.  When she sent me the pictures of her and her unit with the cookies and the other items they received (we also sent them some care packages), I laughed out loud.  Mind you, I was alone, at home, reading emails and posting updates and when I saw those pictures, I was in awe of how much this meant to our soldiers.  It only took me a small portion of my day to bake those cookies and a little bit of my lunch hour to send them over to her.  Since they were from me to her there was a bit of extra caring put into those cookies and a little bit more of the white chocolate chips too!    The pictures of one young female soldier reading a card that was in a care package made me cry.  The look on her face, the writing on the card, is visible and moving.  The stillness of her composure impacted me in such a way that I have to hold back the tears thinking of her.  It is a childs writing, with little flowers drawn on the border, completed with care, respect in the way that only a child can do, with innocence and love, completed without knowing who would be the recipient.

Another portion of our packages were given to a Chaplain as one young man that we had mailed them to did not really understand that he was to hand them out to those who would need them the most.  His buddies were laughing when he kept coming back from the post office on base with more and more packages.  He thought about it and came up with the idea to take them to the Chaplain so that those young men and women who were in dire need of a little bit of home, in need of an outpouring of love, and needing comfort, in need of knowing that they are indeed supported and thought of, would receive it.

These pictures and notes are not required for us to know that the packages are appreciated, we know, as Moms, that they are.  Just like the items sent for the wounded, we knew what they needed because we asked for a list.  These items are stored by the Chaplain at the hospital and for those who are in need (and ALL there are in need) can go to the locker area and “go shopping” for their sweats, t-shirts, shoes, flip flops, phone cards, what ever it is that is sent over and kept there for them.  We send only new items for them (in all of our packages), they don’t deserve used, they have volunteered to put their lives on the line and we want them to know that we appreciate them.

It’s not about how much you spend or are able to spend, one trip to the Dollar Store can benefit several soldiers.  It’s not about receiving kudos for what is sent, it’s knowing in your heart that you helped send a little bit of home and comfort to a Soldier who misses his family as much as they miss him.  It’s what you do to show you are thinking of them and that you care.

Mamaw

So – onwards and upwards.  I’ve been on MidTour leave with my husband for two weeks, but now that I’m back, the site is back – we are ready to be here for the Parents of Serving Military and Veterans.  Anything you want us to talk about?

LAW